


Modern Murder Family

by sayoko



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: :D, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically Hisoka doesn't get his fight with Chrollo, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, also the closest i'll ever get to a, also uuuuuh not sex centered but it has some sex so... beware, buuuuuuuut gets a baby instead, domestic AU, unplanned parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayoko/pseuds/sayoko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok, so... I have no idea how to summarize this, so here's the thing. You know that trope in novels and soap operas where someone leaves a baby in someone else's doorstep? Welp, that's basically it. Now imagine that the doorstep is Hisoka's. Now imagine that Illumi gets dragged into this mess. Now please put down the phone and don't call child protective services, they are gonna be alright, I promise, I swear-</p><p>* Special thanks to <a href="http://dalbergia-retusa.tumblr.com/">dalbergia-retusa</a>  for many of the ideas here, and helping with the title, and beta reading, and for sending me baby fails videos at 3 am and etcetc. Bless you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ...Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> *Canon divergence is explained at the beginning. The time is set somewhere after the Chairman's Election tho.
> 
> *Aaand as usual ; ; please forgive any language mistake.

Hisoka put his hands on his hips and listened to the roaring of his fans when the referee announced another victory for one of the favorites at Heaven’s Arena. It had taken him no time to reach the 200th floor, and the place had already made sure that Hisoka’s fans knew he was back. His comeback fight had been advertised on several ads and pamphlets, and he was sure his fight had been televised as well.

The victory was sour in his mouth. The person lying on the floor was not supposed to be… whatever he said his name was. No, it should have been Chrollo. They had talked about it, back when he was still bound by Kurapika’s nen. Hisoka would help him find a nen exorcist, and Chrollo would give him his so desired fight at Heaven’s Arena. They had chosen the place to ensure that no other Spider would interrupt them. Everything seemed to be going well, until the Spiders decided to interfere in a different way. The plan went to hell when the Troupe had the audacity of claiming the discovery of the nen exorcist in Greed Island as their own. The specialist had played along with the dirty lie as well, and denied ever seeing Hisoka inside the game.

Whether Chrollo really believed them or if it was just a lame excuse not to fight him, the fact remained that the leader of the Phantom Troupe declared their deal no longer valid, and disappeared from the radar with his beloved group. It had been a low blow and he was still bitter about it but, until he could find the thief again, Hisoka decided to try his luck at Heaven’s Arena. This time, he would try to get to the biennial tournament: Battle Olympia.

The redhead waved to the cheering crowd and turned so all photographers could get a nice shot, and that was when he saw it, a stain of black that contrasted against the colorful mass of people. He looked at it more carefully. The stain was actually a woman with long, shiny black hair and a very small, very tight, black dress. She looked familiar, but he could not recall from where. Maybe it was just that she reminded him of Illumi. The changes that the Zoldyck would have to make to look like her were minimal.

The woman in the crowd waved back at him. Of course, there were plenty of other women trying to get his attention, but the way this one behaved was different. He could not see her face well, but she was very calm, arms crossed, looking down at him. It was like she knew him. _Maybe it really is Illumi?_ Hisoka blew her a kiss, and the woman made the gesture of catching it, though she didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it _. Not Illumi, he would have ignored the kiss._ Hisoka turned around and left the ring, he still had an interview to give.

After the short interview and some autograph signing, Hisoka went back to his room. Right after he had finished taking a shower, someone knocked at his door. It was a staff member of the floor, she handed him a white envelope.

“What’s this? A fan letter?” Hisoka asked curiously. Fan letters were usually delivered in stacks on Friday mornings and he had already gotten his that day.

“Um, well, actually…” The employee scratched her head. “The woman who passed me this said she was a relative, and that it was really really important, so…”

Hisoka tilted his head, he had no relatives. “Did she tell you her name?”

“Jinsil, I think… She was a tall woman? With long black hair?” The employee looked down at the floor when Hisoka frowned and pouted, clearly he had no idea who this person was. She wondered if maybe she had made a mistake delivering this letter. Some of the people at the tower were very, very grumpy and looked for any reason to lash out at the establishments’ employees. Still, Jinsil had been very convincing. She had not elaborated much about who she was or what was her urgency, but the way she had looked at her… The employee could feel her anguish.

“I’m afraid I don’t know who she is,” Hisoka said finally, “but if she took all the trouble to come to this floor to deliver this I might as well give it a read.”

The employee’s eyes gleamed. He did not seem upset, so everything was alright. “Have a good day, sir!” She bowed down, and went back to her seat at the reception.

 

Hisoka left the letter on a table and only went back to it after he had dried his hair and put on clean clothes. The envelope was simple, with only his name on it. There was a handwritten letter inside. The writing was sloppy, rushed and full of strikeouts.

_Hisoka,_

_I know this is not how one should do these things, but I just couldn’t get the courage to talk to you in person today after the fight._

_You probably don’t remember me. I was a dancer at the Arife Discotheque. We met there, about a year ago. We spent a night together._

_You disappeared, so when I found out I was pregnant I had no way of telling you._

_I had her._

_We have a daughter._

_I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t know you were doing well and as I saw today you must be making millions with your fights so, please…_

_Take care of her._

_I’m not doing well. I have no job, no home, and many times I’ve found myself with nothing to eat. That’s why I can’t deal with this myself anymore. I’m very sorry._

_I don’t have the courage to meet you right now, and I can’t just leave the kid at the reception… So I will leave her under a bench at the park outside the building. Even if you decide not to pick her up, someone will eventually notice her and take her somewhere safe…_

_Please don’t be angry at me. Please understand._

_Good luck,_

_Jinsil_

 

And as abruptly as that, the letter finished. It was crazy. This had to be some kind of prank of poor taste. Hisoka went to the paper bin at the corner and threw away the letter.

Hours passed and the magician tried to distract himself watching television, but it didn’t work. He kept thinking over and over of the letter, and also of what the employee had said. _A tall woman with long black hair…_ He could not help but remember the one that had greeted him at the arena.

It was crazy, almost impossible. But, since the ‘almost’ part left a chance for the unbelievable to be true, he served himself a glass of whisky and picked the letter back from the bin. He read it once more, just to make sure that this was not one of those exceptional cases.

First thing Hisoka did after re-reading was to look up the discotheque name on his phone. It was real, and it was located in... _Yorknew city_. Hisoka felt his insides twist into a knot. He had spent many months in Greed Island but before that he had, indeed, been to Yorknew. The letter did not specify the exact date they had been together, but if it had been about a year ago, it was still possible.

He tried very hard to remember, but the woman’s name didn’t ring any bell. Could it have been a one night stand? He did use to have those sometimes…

Hisoka gulped down the rest of his drink. It didn’t matter. Even if he, in fact, had slept with this Yorknew woman some night about a year ago, no one assured him that this child was really his own.

 _The child…_ He poured himself a second glass. The letter didn’t really specify how old the girl was, but if the thing had happened about a year ago, it could only be months. _This woman abandoned a baby to her fate under some bench at a park._ He looked to the window, it was already turning dark. _It’s probably cold too…_ Memories of his own childhood came to mind. The nights were the worst part of being homeless, and if it had been hard for him as a youngster, it would be even worse for a 3 months old baby. Hisoka sighed. His or not, if there really was a baby abandoned somewhere near Heaven’s Arena, he could not just let her freeze to death.

 

Hisoka wandered around the surroundings of the tower hoping that, at any moment, someone would spring from behind the bushes and announce that this was all a hidden camera prank. It didn’t happen. Midway through the park, he noticed a big cardboard box under a bench. There was no sound coming from it. He softly pulled it close and opened it. There was still no sound. Hisoka waited a few seconds, holding his breath. The strangest mixture of relief and distress filled him when the tiny creature inside the box yawned. There was indeed a baby. It was a big problem. But at least it was alive.

He took a moment to think well about his next action. Option number one: he could call the police. It was the safest way to ensure the baby would end up in a legal orphanage, but it could be inconvenient for him. Hisoka just wanted to get rid of this problem soon. Who knew how long the police would interrogate him and, even if he made an anonymous call, plenty of people had seen him roaming suspiciously around the park and could point their fingers at him and get him back into the hassle. The option was discarded. Option number two: he could go back to the building, pretend he was merely a concerned citizen who had just found this poor baby during a walk, and let the employees there handle the rest. This option was far better. Even if the police decided they wanted to talk to him, most of the trouble would be left to the Arena’s employees at the first floor. He would just happen to be the hero that found the baby, no need to question further.

“Alright, come here… Let’s get you back to the tower.”

He awkwardly tried to get the baby out of the box and her dirty, worn out blanket. For a brief moment, he considered just taking the whole box with him, but the image would probably look a bit reproachable. It was a human baby, not a bunch of abandoned kittens, after all.

He finally managed to pick up the baby. As he held her in the air, he discovered that she was light, very light. He also discovered that he had no idea how to properly hold a baby in his arms. After many tries, the unusually quiet baby finally made a babbling sound. Hisoka looked down at her. She had opened her eyes. They were a gorgeous golden shade.

“Oh… Hello there… Please don’t cry?”

She did not. She just stared at Hisoka with the same curiosity as him. He took a deep breath as he accepted the undeniable. _She has my eyes…_ The little baby stuck her tongue out and started blowing bubbles, which broke the sudden tension in the air.

“Stop that.” Hisoka chuckled as he wiped her mouth.

She had his eyes. Sure, this could be only a coincidence, but Hisoka could not deny that the possibility of the whole story being true was affecting him more than he had expected. _What if… she really is my daughter?_ Suddenly, the option of leaving her to her luck with the employees of Heaven’s Arena was not as attractive as before. Keeping her was still, completely and indubitably, not a choice. However, he could not just toss her to the first person to greet them at the tower’s lobby. Who knew where she would end up later when she was handled to the authorities. It was no secret that the future of children who grew at governmental orphanages was not bright. If this thin, quiet baby really had something to do with him, the least he could do was to leave her somewhere better. Looking for a private orphanage would take a little longer, but it would be a safe bet. To a certain point. There was no warranty that she would be adopted someday, and even though Hisoka had done very well on his own in his life, the fact that this girl would still be considered an orphan even though both her parents were alive did not feel right. There was no need for her to live through what he had lived. Getting her into a new home without having to pass through an orphanage first was, without a doubt, the best possible scenario. Still, he knew no one who could make this happen. _Maybe Machi?_... Even though Meteor City was a tough place to be raised in, their people stuck together like no other. Maybe Machi knew about a family that wouldn’t mind another mouth at the table. A nice, loving family, one that wouldn’t abandon her to die in the streets.

“Would you like to move to Meteor City?”

The baby just wobbled her arms and legs as response. Hisoka did not like babies, at all. They were too weird, too weak. The amount of things that could get them killed was ridiculous. This one, however, was ok so far. She had endured who knew how long in the cold; he had to give her that.

Hisoka took the tiny girl back to the tower. It took only a simple lie about how she was her drug addict cousin´s baby to get the employee from before to help him. She got him food, diapers, and a new, clean blanket. She even offered herself to help him feed and change her, if she was on shift. Since the policies about keeping someone else living in the rooms of the fighters were not clear about babies, they agreed to keep the issue a secret as long as possible. That afternoon had been a nightmare, but the nice employee had been heaven-sent. Maybe the failure of his fight with Chrollo and the arrival of the baby was a sign of him reaching bottom, and the employee a sign of his luck finally starting to change for better again.

Once the nice employee left, Hisoka threw himself into his couch and sighed.

The magician looked to the baby sleeping soundly on his bed. Her eyes may look like his, but her hair was raven black. He thought of the mother, whose name he had once again forgotten. All he could remember about her was how much she reminded him of Illumi. _…Illumi!_

Hisoka looked for his phone and dialed the assassin’s number. He probably didn’t know about any ‘nice, loving family’, but he certainly had something quite similar. The Zoldyck family had a large corps of butlers and, if he didn’t remember wrong, they lived with them in their fancy mountain. Being a Zoldyck butler meant food, a roof, and a job guaranteed for one´s entire life. Sure, the job could get dangerous, but so was life at Meteor City. At least at the Zoldyck residence she would never be afraid of not having something to eat.

Illumi didn’t pick up, so Hisoka left him a message.

Where are you? I need a favor.>

He stared at the phone screen. Even though Illumi hadn’t picked up, he was sure that he would answer his text soon. He always did.

Just some minutes later, the notification light proved him right.

<Home. What kind of favor?

It seemed his luck was really changing. Kukuru Mountain was relatively close. He could go, leave the child, and be back to his room before the weekend was over. Hisoka tapped a finger against the back of his cellphone. Although Illumi was always willing to help him, this situation was much different to any other kind of trouble the assassin had gotten him out of.

I’d rather tell you in person. Can we meet?>


	2. Bye bye baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... I made a tiny edit to the previous chapter because it seems Kukuroo Mountain and the H.A. are a bit more far than I believed ;u; but ya, that's all.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Illumi took a seat at the café where he and Hisoka were supposed to meet –he checked his phone- ten minutes ago. The tardiness didn’t surprise him. Hisoka had a habit of arriving late every time they met. The assassin ordered some tea for the wait; it seemed Hisoka had never been to the town at the outskirts of Kukuroo Mountain, he would probably take even longer than usual.

A waiter presented Illumi a box filled with different sachets of tea, from which he picked one randomly. He didn’t care much about it, it was just to wait comfortably seated. He looked at his phone again; no lost calls or messages. Nothing to worry about, he was sure Hisoka would show up. After all, it had been him who insisted in meeting close to Kukuroo even though Illumi had offered going to the Heaven’s Arena himself. Hisoka’s sudden concern about not making Illumi ‘go out of his way’ made Illumi suspect he was going to ask for something real big. _Something related to Chrollo, probably_. The assassin huffed. He was well aware of what had happened between the two men and although he had not talked much to Hisoka recently, he was sure that the magician still hadn’t let that go. He was just too obsessed with the thief.

The waiter brought him a tiny teapot filled with hot water and a pair of tiny cookies. Illumi couldn’t understand why Hisoka was so insistent in meeting at a café. If the favor he was going to ask was big, he would prefer to hear it in a bar with a glass of whisky. He let the tea sachet steep in the water for some minutes, and then filled his cup. It was not alcohol, but the warmth of the cup between his hands was soothing anyway.

_Last time Hisoka asked me for help to find Chrollo I lied and said Kalluto had not contacted us in a long time. He won’t believe that lie again. If he asks for help and I say no, I’ll probably lose him as a contact… But if I say yes, I would have to tell him about Chrollo’s plan of going to the Dark Continent... If Hisoka boards that ship, he’ll be stuck with the Troupe there for who knows how long. This means Kalluto will be trapped with him too._

He took a sip of tea and realized he had forgotten to add sugar. Unimportant. He went back to his thoughts.

_Kalluto… He knew what he was getting into when he joined that group.  But one thing is him looking for danger on his own, other much different is me leading Hisoka to him…_

Hisoka could not be trusted, not entirely. Yes, he was after Chrollo, but who knew what he could do to get to him. He took another sip of the sugarless tea. It wasn’t so bad after the second try.

_Kalluto said that all members would board the ship… There’s no way Hisoka can take on the whole band, and even if Chrollo decided to fight him alone… Hisoka will lose. He’ll die, probably. He’s too invested in this; he won’t be satisfied with a simple spar… And Chrollo is too strong. He will win… That wouldn’t be good._

His brows twitched. What was he thinking?

_Well, it would be good. Sure. But… If he dies, then I won’t have anyone else to ask for help or favors… That’s not good._

He took another sip as he pretended not to notice the obvious flaw in this argument. Getting rid of someone who had proved a threat to his family was absolutely more important than the possible detriment of losing a contact. He knew this. He also knew that even if Chrollo didn’t kill him, he had ways to end the magician himself. Not fair ones, but that shouldn’t bother him if it was to defend his family’s safety. He kept drinking his tea. He knew this, he knew this very well but he did not want to think about it. It was not necessary. He brushed the thought away.

_The best course of action would be to lie about Chrollo’s whereabouts until the ship has sailed… If possible, that is. Sometimes Hisoka is very sharp at reading my intentions. I wonder how he manages to…_

A familiar presence approaching woke him up from his reverie. The magician threw a bag to the floor and sat down heavily in the seat in front of him.

“Hello. Sorry, I had trouble finding the place.” He said in a tired voice.

Illumi blinked. It took him a couple of seconds to process what was different in the magician, besides his obvious weariness; a shawl, he had a shawl wrapped around him, somehow like a purse. He was carrying something in it, something very delicate it seemed, as he was holding it firmly to his chest. If Illumi didn’t know better, he would have said it was a baby.

“It’s alright. What’s that?” He asked pointing at the bulk inside the improvised bag.

“Well, this is the reason I wanted to talk to you.” Hisoka reached into his peapod-like purse and clumsily took a round bundle of blankets from inside… Except it wasn’t just blankets. There was a face, a small baby face buried in the fabric cocoon. “This is what I need help with.”

Illumi widened his eyes at the indisputable truth in front of him. That thing neatly wrapped in fuzzy blankets was a baby. A real, living baby, somehow asleep despite all the movement. The assassin’s brain almost short-circuited trying to connect this new revelation to Chrollo. Most logical theory was that the baby belonged to a member of the Troupe. If that was it, Hisoka was in some serious shit.

“Where did you get that from?”

“Her,” he corrected. “I found her abandoned at a park near the Arena yesterday. Can you believe it? I thought that kind of thing didn’t happen in this side of the world.” It seemed the information had taken Illumi off guard, since he kept staring at the baby with his brows raised high and his lips slightly parted. Hisoka continued immediately. “Illumi… I’ll go straight to the point. I came here to ask you if you could take this girl and raise her as one of your family’s butlers.”

The deep black eyes went from the baby to Hisoka. “What?”

“You told me once your family gets their butlers from orphanages, right? Well, this would be practically the same. You would have to wait a little more, but you won’t even notice! Kids grow really fast.”

On the other side of the table, Illumi was still processing everything. He was relieved to hear that the tiny bean had nothing to do with the Phantom Troupe, but was still disconcerted that she had nothing to with the Phantom Troupe. This new story was so unexpected, so soap-opera worthy, that he was caught between relief and disbelief. Hisoka had no idea that the other was expecting the conversation to be different, so he interpreted Illumi’s petrified expression as something negative. Maybe the favor was too big, maybe Illumi was shocked that he was even asking for something like this.

“If you want money, you can name the price.” He said after a while. Maybe mentioning money so casually would make it seem like this was a just a regular favor, nothing to be so affected by.

The effect was completely the opposite. Instead of calming down, Illumi became more overwhelmed. He had not even started to think about prices. What would be the price for something like this? Was he really going to believe Hisoka’s story? Was raising a baby in the butler’s residence even acceptable? He had seen young butlers in training around, but this girl was ridiculously young.

Hisoka swallowed. He had just spent almost a whole day traveling to the freaking Dentora Region and he was not going to go back empty handed… Figuratively, literally he did hope to go back empty handed. If Illumi was hesitant, he could always praise the Zoldyck family and their employees. Praising always worked with the assassin. However, it was too predictable, and maybe a bit not credible, considering he had already beaten one of Illumi’s butlers. If Hisoka really wanted success, he would have to take a different approach.

“Illumi?” He asked in the softest voice possible.

“Can I see her?”

The question surprised Hisoka a little; he was expecting an interrogation to begin. He said nothing. He just calmly passed the baby to Illumi.

Usually, the family of assassins would go to orphanages or children’s homes when they needed new butlers. Orphans were the most suitable candidates, for obvious reasons. However, this didn’t mean every single child was eligible for the task. They had to show certain potential. This baby was too young to show any promise, but at least she looked healthy.

With all the handling and talking, the girl woke up. The little one lazily opened her eyes and when she noticed Illumi she let out a shriek of joy. Illumi was surprised, and pleased. Even if they didn’t know nen, children were very sensitive of people’s auras and Illumi’s was not a pleasant one. Most babies frowned and even cried in his presence. This one was laughing, this one had courage.

“What’s her name?”

“Oh, I didn’t give her one.”

“Uh? Why not?”

The reason was something he had learned as a kid: ‘Don’t name animals you don’t intend on keeping as pets, because naming them is the first step to growing attached.’ The girl was certainly not a pet, but he figured the advice applied in this case too.

“I thought it would be more appropriate for the one who keeps her to name her,” he answered, shrugging it off.

The baby was becoming more and more restless each second that passed, so he held her in his arms and rocked her. This surprised both men, but Illumi the most. He had not intended to. The reaction had come naturally, effortless, as if it had been just yesterday that he had last carried one of his baby siblings. The baby calmed down, but continued her one-sided conversation of babbling noises. It was then that he noticed. At first he had thought they were light brown and that the sunlight was giving them that shade, but no. The girl’s eyes were the same yellow as Hisoka’s.

“Oh.”

“What is it?”

Illumi looked up at the trickster. How many people had he met in his life that had the same eye color? The number was too low. This could be just a coincidence, but taken into account the strangeness of the whole situation, maybe it was not. It wouldn’t be the first time Hisoka lied to him. He decided not to touch the subject yet.

“I want to see her well but you wrapped her so much I don’t know how to undo this.”

Hisoka gave him a wide smile. She was like that because a baby in a ball shape was much easier to carry than a free one. “It was cold on the way here.”

Once Illumi managed to untangle the two blankets she was actually under, he held the baby high above his head and pretended to examine her. It was just for show. He had already decided he would accept the girl. Whatever relation those two had, Hisoka was clearly desperate to get her into Zoldyck territory. He could not let this opportunity pass. The assassin wasn’t really sure if he could actually bring the nameless baby to Kukuroo Mountain, but that didn’t matter. Hisoka didn’t have to know this. If she couldn’t stay there, he would leave her at a home somewhere near and pick her up once she was older. If everything went well, he would have an indebted Hisoka _and_ a new butler. It was a good deal.

Luckily, the girl seemed healthy. Somewhat thin, but still energetic. Lifting her didn’t scare her at all, it just made her laugh louder and waggle her arms and legs frantically. A brave bean.

Illumi cradled the baby again but now that she was free, it was not as peaceful as before. She immediately tried grabbing the needles stuck in the assassin’s chest.

“No” He warned, pulling her away, then closer again, then repeating because she kept trying to grab the shiny orbs.

Hisoka had to bit his lip to stop himself from laughing. She was just 3 months old, she would never understand. He kept silent watching the scene in front of him; Illumi looked so at ease, even when arguing with a 3 months old baby. He wondered if he was being too melodramatic with this whole baby-carrying issue. Finally, Illumi gave up and passed the baby to Hisoka again. Cold sweat ran through the back of his head as he held her from her armpits. He could craddle her. If Illumi could, then so could he. He could do it. He could do it!

Seconds passed, and he couldn’t do it.

“You have no idea how to carry a baby, do you?”

“No.”

Illumi sighed. “Ok, the easiest way to do it as you are holding her now would be to bring the baby close to your chest…” He waited for Hisoka to follow. “Now hold the back of her head with one hand, and put the other under her bottom.”

After some struggling, the magician finally managed to follow the instructions. He looked at Illumi full of pride.

“Good. There you go.” He congratulated. Despite the awful crouched posture of the magician, he had to acknowledge that the baby was safely held.

He let Hisoka enjoy his achievement for a moment before making the comment.

“She has pretty eyes.”

Hisoka could sense the suspicion hidden in the depths of the deadpan voice. Of course the assassin had noticed her eye color, he was not dumb. But that alone was not proof of anything, he had to know that too.

“She does.” He answered simply with a half-grin.

Illumi looked at him in the eye, all softness gone from his face. “Hisoka… Tell me the truth. Are you related to this girl?”

Hisoka closed his eyes and huffed a laugh, the interrogation had begun. “I knew you’d ask that. But no, I’m not. I noticed her eyes were the same as mine only after I had picked her up from the ground.” He paused. It was time to start acting for real. “Maybe that’s the reason why I’m doing this…” He said in a low voice, as if he was talking to himself.

“Her eyes?”

“Yes… Because they’re like mine, and her situation…” He paused, pretending to be lost in thought. “She reminds me of myself.”

That was it. The silence that followed declared his victory. Illumi’s went tense trying to contain his brimming curiosity. Hisoka’s past was a mystery to him. He had tried to investigate it before and found almost nothing. Having such a bomb suddenly thrown at him definitely caught his attention, but he was not going to question the magician further. Why would he? Hisoka’s past was not his business. They were not friends. He shouldn’t even care about it. All he should focus on was on making a good transaction, that was all.

Hisoka looked down to hide his smirking. He could practically see the train of thought on Illumi’s mind at the moment. Whatever doubt he could have had about his story should be forgotten by now.

“So what do you say?”

Illumi leaned on the table and rested his chin on his hand. He pretended to be considering it, but he was really wondering what he would ask for in return.

“I’ll let the butlers pick a name.” He said finally.

Hisoka closed his eyes and relaxed. It was over. “Thank you.”

“But don’t think this will come free.”

“Oh Illumi, I never did. You’re the only person I know who charges for favors. How much do you want?”

“Four million jenny.” The assassin tilted his head. “And I also want your help.”

“My help? What for?”

“For missions.”

Hisoka raised an eyebrow, that was in plural. “How many?”

Illumi shrugged. “As many as I get in the lapse of a year.”

The magician didn’t mind working side to side with Illumi, he actually enjoyed it. But this… This was different. Hisoka had a feeling they would be seeing each other quite often and, even though Illumi had said it as ‘help’, he also feared that he was going to be more of a subordinate than a partner. That couldn’t be much fun. On the other hand… This could be another sign. Chrollo was nowhere to be found, but here was Illumi, unknowingly throwing himself into his hands. Did the Zoldyck really think he would be a good boy and follow him obediently for a whole year? Maybe this is what he needed. A year seeing each other often was enough to figure a way to get a definite fight with the assassin. Sure, he was not Chrollo, but he was a tasty meantime snack. Hisoka had done well calling him first. His luck was really changing.

“Very well… You have to contact me with time, though. I’m trying to get to Battle Olympia, if you call me and I have a match, I’ll have to reschedule.”

“Don’t worry. I will let you know with time.”

So that was it. Hisoka had freed himself from his little problem and had found more ways to kill time before Battle Olympia or finding Chrollo, whichever came first. He signaled to the floor with his head.

“That bag has diapers and a bottle with formula and other stuff that some nice lady gave me. Ah! Wait. How are you going to take her back to Kukuroo? Should I go with you, or do you have one of those special chairs in your car?”

Illumi blinked. Seeing Hisoka worry so much about a baby, his or not, was still surreal. The assassin’s car was not far away. He didn’t have a chair (how could he have ever imagined he would need one?), but if Hisoka carried the girl while he drove then that was no issue.

“I took a bus. But I can call someone to pick us up.” He said instead.

“We are all going?”

“Yeah, I can’t carry her. She keeps trying to pull my needles.”

Hisoka considered offering to mummify her in blankets again, but didn’t. He wanted to see how Illumi acted towards the baby, even if just for the short ride. “It must be the shine.”

The Zoldyck sent a message for a butler to pick them up. Now they’d have to wait. Hisoka ordered a cappuccino and Illumi a new teapot, since his previous one had gone cold. The redhead was getting comfortable with his new skill. He was now carrying the baby with a single hand and browsing through his phone with the other. Illumi was admired. _On a second thought…_ Illumi used Gyo in his eyes and discovered that the reason Hisoka was so confident now was that he had the baby glued to him with Bungee Gum. Of course he was cheating. Anyway, the baby didn’t seem to care. She was calm, too busy trying to eat her own hand.

Illumi looked through the window. It was a sunny summer day and many people walked idly across the streets. He browsed through them, trying to find anyone with silver hair. Deep down, he knew it was pretty much impossible. Killua would not risk getting this close of Kukuroo Mountain. However, the hope was still there. This was the reason why Illumi had offered to go to Heaven’s Arena, and also why he had delayed his comeback that afternoon. The more time he was away from home, the more chances he had of running into Killua. It was highly unlikely, but until his father went back to his senses and ordered a proper search, it was all he could do. Travel a lot and hope.

A butler picked them up in a Mercedes. He looked intrigued, but said nothing. Illumi was one of the strictest members of the family and being inappropriate could mean death. The ride back to the mountain started quiet, until the baby decided she had had enough of being stuck to Hisoka and started whining.

“Calm her down, I don’t want to hear crying.”

“I’m trying!” Hisoka tried to rock the baby, but she kept whimpering until she finally started crying loudly. “She’s crying!” He announced happily.

“Yes, I can hear, shut her up.”

“No, you don’t understand. She hadn’t cried. I thought maybe she had a problem.”

Illumi stared at the magician. His concern about this baby’s welfare was still strange to him. He never thought Hisoka to be someone capable of such empathy. _Unless this girl really is somehow related to him_. He shook off the idea. Maybe it really wasn’t his. Who in their right mind would have a baby with Hisoka anyway?

“Illumi, I think she wants you to hold her.”

“Uh?”

He seemed right. The baby kept looking at the assassin and extending an arm to him. He carefully took her and held her in front of him, just far enough from the weapons on his chest. The effect was instantaneous. She kept wobbling, probably demanding to be closer, but she stopped crying completely.

“Woah… She likes you.”

“…It seems so.”

It was odd, but for some reason the kid really seemed to like Illumi. Hisoka watched the pair, wondering. Why him? From all people? Suddenly, his brain clicked. Illumi looked a lot like the poor creature’s mother! It was perfect. A bit sad, but her confusion was perfect to gain the assassin’s sympathy.

“You know… Maybe you should adopt her. You look cute together”

Illumi immediately turned to Hisoka. “I’m never adopting a child.”

“Why not?”

The assassin only glared as response.

“What a shame. You do look cute together. Also, she likes you so much, she wants to eat you up!”

“What?”

Illumi looked down and froze. The baby had reached a strand of his hair and was now munching it. She stopped for a moment when being discovered, but resumed immediately, her golden eyes fixed on Illumi’s, completely fearless.

“Ok, let me-” Hisoka leaned close and the pulled away the strand before Illumi could do anything. “There. Heh, she must be hungry.”

“Then feed her.” Illumi hissed.

“But she wants to be with you.”

Illumi took a deep breath. His anger was almost tangible. “Pass me her bottle.”

After being fed, the baby fell asleep and the rest of the trip was uneventful. The car stopped by the Testing Gate to drop off Illumi.

“Bye bye baby!” Hisoka waved cheerfully, even though the baby was asleep and couldn’t hear.

“Send me a message after you have deposited the money to my account.”

Hisoka stopped abruptly. “Sure. Bye bye Illu.” He waved in a much less enthusiastic tone.

When the car drove away to leave Hisoka back to the city’s airport, he didn’t look back. He had been inclined to, but he didn’t want to look more worried than he had already seemed. Instead, he kept trying to talk to the driver, but even without Illumi there, he seemed too scared to talk.

“Do you want to know whose baby was that?” He said bluntly when they were close to the airport.

The driver didn’t answer, but looked attentive at Hisoka from his front mirror.

“It was your master’s.” He continued.

The driver said nothing, but by the way his eyes had widened, Hisoka was sure that he was going to spread the rumor.

 


	3. Love Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo~ Um... There's some linguistic stuff going on in this chapter that I tried to explain the best I could. It's some japanese stuff. I decided to use it in the story because 1- reasons you're about to read, 2- because it seems in HxH people speak a common tongue that's basically hiragana in a different coat so welp why not~ It wouldn't be strange that they also had their own version of kanji. ~~It's also not strange that there is no mention of that. Can you imagine how horrible it must be to re-write kanji? That stuff is a nightmare omg.~~
> 
> But yeah, that's all c: Have fun~

Hisoka was tired. He hadn’t slept since the baby had appeared because he was afraid she would stop breathing. Why would she just stop breathing? Who knew! Babies were weird. Everything was a menace to them, even themselves. But now he was freed of these worries. The knowledge that with each minute he was farther and farther away from she-who-must-not-be-named-and-didn’t-even-have-a-name-to-call-anyway filled him with relief. He slept soundly for the rest of the trip back to Heaven’s Arena.

 

Back in Kukuroo Mountain, Tsubone was the one who worried now.

 _“Tsubone, do you think you could keep this baby at the butler’s residence?”_ Illumi had said.

The old butler had to take a moment to make sure she had heard right. She said yes. She wasn’t sure, but she had to say that. After all, it was Illumi who was asking. The fact that he had made the petition as a question was just a detail; Illumi would not accept a different answer.

Illumi passed her the child and the bag and turned on his heel. Tsubone could barely stop him to ask what else she was supposed to do besides taking her to their residence.

_“Raise her, of course.”_

The lack of emotion on his words was such, it was as if he was asking her something as simple as watering a plant. Tsubone was not that surprised by that, at least. She had already seen how insignificant people outside his family were to Illumi. She bowed down and quickly thought what other information she should ask before the apathetic assassin left for good.

_“What’s her name?”_

_“Oh! Right. She doesn’t have one. You can name her whatever you want. Any more questions?”_

The last question was, once again, tricky. She wasn’t supposed to make more questions; she was supposed to ‘stop bothering’. Tsubone shook her head and let him leave. It was no use making Illumi stay any longer. She would probably have more luck getting information from Silva.

The excuse to talk to Silva was easy. Something along the lines of “ _I’m sorry to bother, but I tried reaching master Illumi and it seems his phone is not working. It’s about the baby.”_ did the trick. However, to Tsubone’s surprise, Silva did not have much information either. Apparently, all Illumi had said about it was _“Just a kid I rescued. I think she has potential_.” …And Silva had believed it. How could the man be so blind? There was obviously something fishy. Even if she let pass Illumi’s sudden interest in bringing skilled people to join their servants, she could not understand what potential he was talking about. The kid was no prodigy at all. Her physique was almost leaning to malnourished and there was nothing in her aura that differentiated her from other babies. There had to be another reason why he had brought her to the Manor. Sadly, no matter how strange the situation was, Tsubone could not investigate any further without permission. She would have to be patient, and wait. Maybe one day she could make Illumi drop more information, or, who knew, maybe he would decide to tell the truth himself.

Since it seemed there was no rush to name the newcomer, Tsubone decided to let the whole team of butlers participate in the process. This was no arbitrary decision. The loss of Gotoh had affected everyone who had worked with him and, even after all the time that had passed, his absence still lingered in the house and a shared feeling of defeat reigned amongst his once friends. A baby could be just what the house needed to lift everyone’s spirits once more.

The arrival of baby butler did cheer the servants, but the name picking didn’t go as smoothly as Tsubone imagined. It was hard to choose a name when almost everyone suggested a different one and some plainly refused to consider the others. _“Too old-fashioned”, “unpronounceable”, “too common”, “too fancy”_ , they said. Before the complaints turned into arguments, Tsubone decided to postpone the voting until she came up with a better voting method.

Tsubone took the nameless baby and Amane to Canary's station. They sat under the tree while the oldest woman thought of a solution.  _Should I just decide myself? But I’ve already told the others that they would be able to participate. I don’t want to let them down…_ She looked at Canary and Amane. They were sitting next to her and had the baby lying on the grass on her back. Canary made the baby move her legs in the air as exercise and Amane watched them. It was nice to hear the little girl laugh so loudly, so far she had not made much noise.

“What do you think we should name this tiny bean?” Tsubone asked.

Amane hummed, thinking her answer carefully. Canary answered in a heartbeat.

“Let’s call her Canary!”

“But that’s your name,” Amane said.

“Yes, but a second one, Canary the Second. Ah! Canary Junior!”

“That sounds horrible!”

“Hmm… Then Canary…-ko?”

“Canary Ko?... You mean Canaryko!? You can’t be for real!”

Canary chuckled. She wasn’t, but it was fun to see Amane get worked up over it anyway. “I think Canaryko is cute.”

“But she’s not your child!”

Tsubone kept silent watching the two girls argue. It looked like the ‘ko’ Canary was referring to was the kanji of ‘child’. It was commonly used in girls names, and it always went in the last part. Basically, whatever kanji came first would determine what 'child' it was. For example, Akiko could mean 'autumn child', Keiko could mean 'happy child', and so on. The way the name was written could change its meaning, but that was a different matter. The way Canary was using it, although strange sounding, was correct in theory.

“And what about Amaneko?” Canary continued teasing.

“What?!”

“C’mon, that way we could also call her Neko or Neko-chan!”

“Oh-my-god.”

They went on to discuss if ‘Neko’ was or not a proper name for a girl and, if not, why, why wasn't it, how was it different to ‘Canary’, which was followed by Amane going red after answering it was ‘because Canary is much prettier and graceful... THE NAME I'M TALKING ABOUT THE NAME OF COURSE’. Tsubone remained just listening. She was glad to see them talk in such a happy and carefree way, especially Amane. She appreciated the girl's dedication to her job, but she was way too serious for her age. Canary’s company did her good.

“Oh… By the way, have you heard the rumor?” Canary said after a while.

“The one about the weird guy in the car?”

“Yes! What do you think?”

“That can’t be true.”

“What rumor?” Tsubone asked, finally rejoining the conversation.

“Well…” Canary explained, “The butler who was in charge of driving the other day said that he actually drove three people here: Illumi, the baby and a weird guy. After leaving the first two at the entrance, he went back to town to drop weird guy there, and, well… He said that the weird guy told him that the baby was Illumi’s daughter.”

Tsubone’s jaw almost dropped after hearing this. It sounded terribly fake, ‘it happened to the friend of a friend’ kind of fake… but it also fitted into the puzzle that was the baby’s arrival.

“Oh, there’s no way that’s true!” Amane yelled.

“Why not?” Canary dramatically placed a hand on her forehead. “A forbidden love! A child born outside of a marriage! Something tragic happens to the mother! The father, unable to leave the child in the streets, sends her to live with the servants!”

Amane raised a single eyebrow. “You’ve been reading too many fairy tales.”

“I have not! And well, all jokes aside, you can’t deny they have the same-”

“GIRLS” Tsubone interrupted in a voice strong enough to scare the birds on the branches above them. “This is a serious topic that none of you should discuss so openly. If you were heard by the wrong person, it could get you in trouble.” Both girls looked down. They knew she was right. “You should know better than to spread rumors like that…” She continued, and then added with a low voice, “Because there is no woman in this world who would have a love child with master Illumi.”

The butlers looked up and giggled at Tsubone’s remark.

“She’s right, isn’t she?” Canary asked the baby while tickling her belly. “You’re too sweet to be that man’s love child.”

“A love child…” Amane mumbled to herself. She picked up a twig and started drawing something in the ground. “Ai…ko”

It was the name Aiko. The name was composed of two kanji: Ai (愛) and Ko (子). The first one meant love, the second one child. It was a real name, and a beautiful one, in Amane’s opinion. She had heard it for the first time on the news. Apparently it was the name of a princess, a real princess. Of course, the parents could not have named her with _that_ meaning in mind, but it was hard not to think of it considering all they were talking about.

“Aiko? Amane, that’s perfect!” Canary said, peeking over her shoulder. “Can we name her Aiko?”

Tsubone blinked twice. It was, indeed, a beautiful name, but the non-literal meaning of ‘love child’ was going to be obvious to those who had heard the rumor.

“It-it’s a princess name!!!” Amane explained, seeing the frown in her mentor’s face. She wasn’t really defending the name. To be honest, she didn’t even intend to propose it, she had just remembered it.

“Really? That’s so cute,” Canary said.

“Yes! ...Also, I think… a better interpreting would be ‘child who is loved’ or something like that...” she finished shyly.

Tsubone hummed. Perhaps her association of the name to the not-so-positive meaning was just the stupid rumor's influence. It was just gossip, it would pass someday. “Ok, I know what we’ll do. I’ll pick the two most voted names from the last voting and this one for a new election, whichever gets the more votes wins.”

That night, the three women presented the chosen names to their colleagues. The buzzing that filled the room when Tsubone wrote ‘Aiko’ in the blackboard made clear that it was not just them who had heard the rumor, it was practically everyone. Amane’s cheeks went red with embarrassment. She did not want the whole room to think she was supporting the absurd rumor. Before she knew it, she had taken the microphone from the table.

“IT’S THE NAME OF A PRINCESS!” She claimed, her volume strong enough to reach all corners of the house.

The buzzing changed to ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’ and hearty laughs and she was about to breath out and relax when Canary took the microphone from her and added “It means ‘child who is loved’.”

That sealed the deal. ‘Aiko’ won by absolute majority. At first, Amane was not sure how to feel. Then she realized the situation was actually not bad at all. Even if the rumor was false, she had found a pretty name that was subtle enough to also serve as some kind of inside gossip about one of the most awful members of the Zoldyck family. Even if Illumi found the name distasteful, she couldn’t be blamed for it because it had been the whole house who had voted in its favor. She had truly nailed it.

That night, the butlers feasted to welcome their new addition properly. Whatever past she had before coming into Zoldyck territory, she was part of their family now, and they were going to make sure she was a loved child.


	4. We need to talk about Illumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I wish I could update more frequently, but I can't. Please just bear with me. Living is hard and confusing.  
> But ye, anyway, here's wonderwall~♥️

 

Kikyo slammed open the heavy stone doors without bothering to knock first. Not that it mattered much. Silva could feel the agitated presence of his wife way before she invaded his personal lounge room yelling.

“DEAR!!!”

For a moment, Silva was glad he never bought the coffee table with the glass table top. He was sure it would have cracked at the sound of his wife’s shrill voice.

“I thought we had an arrangement,” he answered coldly.

“I know I’m not supposed to come here but I had to because—”

“You stay away from my personal room and I from yours.” Silva continued at the same time his wife was talking.

“—because you keep avoiding me GOD DAMN IT!!”

Silva shrunk into his couch. His wife had cursed. His wife never cursed. Kikyo took advantage of her husband’s astonishment to enter further into the room and sit next to him.

“We need to talk about Illumi.”

“Not this again…”

“You have to admit this is all too strange,” she said stressing every word.

Silva covered his face with both hands. A few days ago, Kikyo had found out about the new addition at the butler’s residence. She had also discovered something else, or well, heard something else.

“For the last time, that is just a rumor.”

Kikyo tightened her fists over her lap. She was really trying to contain herself, but she had just so much energy inside that it made her hands shake.

“I know that…” She said in a calm voice that was betrayed by her shakiness. “Illumi would never… do something like that.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

“But there’s something else. I can feel it.”

Silva breathed a deep sigh. “I already talked to Illumi. It’s just a kid he found. That’s all.”

“Oh!” She huffed and threw a hand dramatically over her head. “Do you really believe that? That Illumi would rescue some kid from the street? Illumi? Our Illumi?”

Silva shrugged lightly. “It’s not like he brought her to our house. Besides, it’s not really charity, the kid is a butler.”

“A baby butler?” Kikyo hissed.

“Look, if this is making you so upset, why don’t you talk to Illumi yourself?”

“I did!”

“And what did he say?”

“The same!”

“There you go!”

“No, no no no!”

Kikyo leaned forward, defeated, and rested her head on her knees. Hesitantly, Silva patted his wife’s shoulder. Even though she was acting like a living nightmare, he would not yell at her this time. He could understand what was going on behind the curtain of melodrama. This was not that much about Illumi as it was about Killua. Kikyo’s fits had multiplied and worsened after he had disappeared with Alluka. The simplest things could make her turn into the personification of the Vesuvius. It was fine. She would let it go… once she found something else to explode about.

“Dear…” Silva said softly. “I understand what you’re saying, I really do, but I don’t see the point in interrogating Illumi.” He paused when Kikyo lifted her face slightly and turned to him. There was no way of knowing how she was looking at him under the screen of her visor, but he interpreted the silence as attentiveness. “Whatever reason he brought that baby here, it can’t be something bad. Illumi would never do something that could put us in danger.”

“I know that, but… I just need to know…” She pouted.

Silva awkwardly petted her head, or rather, the flamboyant hat she was wearing to match her dress. It was normal to be curious, but the matter wasn’t as important as she was making it seem. Either Illumi’s explanation was real or someone had given the baby to him as a payment of some sort. Both could be true, even the first option. It was no secret that Illumi had not taken well his order to stop chasing Killua and Alluka. Maybe Killua’s absence was finally affecting him as well. Maybe he was affected, maybe it been an impulse. Anyway, from Silva’s point of view, it was no big deal. Impulse or not there was no harm done. The only thing that changed in their lives was that they had one butler more. Well, technically not yet, but in a couple of years.

“Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll talk to Illumi one last time. After that, I’ll warn him that he can’t bring new servants without asking us for permission first. How does that sound?”

Kikyo straightened up and looked at her husband with her chin raised high, imposing and proud despite how tiny her frame was in comparison. “…Fine. But I’m going with you.”

 

 

Illumi sat on the edge of his bed without any idea of what was going on. Both his parents looked annoyed. It was like he was 10 again and was being scolded for accidentally killing someone he shouldn’t .

“Illumi, we’re here because your mother is very concerned--”

“We both are,” she corrected.

“Because we both are very concerned about that baby you brought here some days ago.”

“Oh.” Illumi tilted his head slightly and maintained a look of total innocence.“Why are you concerned?”

“Your mother- We…” corrected Silva after receiving a nudge on his ribs, “would like to know where did you find the baby and why did you bring her here.”

“Uh? But I already told you.”

“The details,” demanded Kikyo through gritted teeth, “darling.”

Illumi hummed as he pretended to be remembering. He had already planned a lie for this. His parents didn’t know about his odd relationship with Hisoka and he was not planning on telling them any time soon. “I don’t remember the exact street, but I found her in Peijing. It turned out my target was a both a drug dealer and a human trafficker and, after killing him, one of the women he held captive asked me to take her daughter away from that country… So I said yes.” He finished with a half shrug.

Silva nodded in understanding, but Kikyo was still not pleased.

“But why would a mother ask for her baby to be taken away from her?”

“Well… As you probably know, the Republic of East Gorteau was severely affected by the Chimera Ant invasion. Even with the aid of other countries, it’s still risking civil war. With all the political chaos and crime, I don’t see why she wouldn’t want her baby as far away from there as possible. About the age,” he added before Kikyo interrupted him, “I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. If we start training her from a young age, maybe she’ll get to a more decent level than the butlers we already have. Anyway, if you find that keeping her here is too inconvenient, I can always get rid of her.”

His voice was followed by silence. Silva stared at Kikyo with an ‘I told you so’ look, but she didn’t avert her eyes from Illumi. Despite being proud of the statuesque impassiveness of her son, she really had a feeling that there was something else going on.

“Now that that’s cleared,” Silva said, breaking the silence, “I also have to warn you that you can’t do something like this again,” Silva said. “If you plan on bringing someone, you have to ask us for permission first.”

Illumi gave a single nod. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask. It didn’t occur to me it would be such a problem.”

“It wasn’t.” Silva said giving another glare at his wife. “Now we’re going to leave this issue behind and move on.”

"Of course, darling..."

 

* * *

 

 

The first days after the baby incident passed just like any other for Hisoka. Sometimes, the families at the crowded halls of the Heaven’s Arena’s first floor would remember him of the nameless girl, but the memory didn’t trouble him anymore. It was actually kind of funny. He remembered how he had kind of panicked at the possibility of the girl really being his and laughed. There was no way the content of that letter was true. He could see that clearly now. Jinsil, if that was her real name, was just a crazy opportunist and the baby was lucky she was not under her care anymore.

Sometimes, just sometimes, Hisoka would wonder how the girl was doing. She had to have a name already. Those times, just those times, Hisoka overheated his head debating if he should call Illumi and ask or not. On the one hand, didn’t he have the right to be curious? Hisoka had always been someone curious; it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he wanted to know if the baby had a name already. On the other hand, why should he care? She was not his daughter. If he acted like he cared too much, it would give Illumi the wrong impression and he would surely try to ask him for more money or favors to keep the girl living at Kukuroo. The conclusion was always the same: asking about the girl was not worth the trouble. If Illumi wanted to talk to him about her, it was fine. But he would not call first. It was better for everyone that way.

Two weeks passed before Illumi finally contacted Hisoka. He texted him to part right away, disrespecting their “three days in advance notice” agreement right from the start. Despite this, Hisoka made no comments and went to the address in the message, just because it happened to be in the same city.

The text said nothing about the target, so when Hisoka stepped out of the taxi and discovered that the address actually belonged to a hotel and that the number next to it was apparently from a room, his smile broadened hopefully; but he immediately dismissed the thought. Even though it was sudden, even though it was late at night, there was no way this was a booty call. Illumi was too proud for that. It couldn’t be a job either, not properly speaking. Illumi could be inconsiderate about some things but he would never be that unprofessional to send him to a job completely clueless. He probably just wanted to talk about the matter in person first before going to the real location of the target.

He calmly went up to the fifth floor and knocked on the door of the appointed room. Promptly, it opened.

“Three days notice?” Hisoka asked with an arched brow.

Illumi blinked twice, clearly confused. “What?”

“Did you really forget? We agreed you would give me a three days notice before calling me for a job.”

The assassin stood silently by the door, his mouth slightly open. “That… that’s not what I called you for.”

“What?”

“…I thought it would be obvious.”

“What would be-” Hisoka’s face lit up with hope once again. “Oh”

Illumi lowered his head and looked to the side. “Could you just come inside already? It’s awkward talking like this.”

That was it. The almost unnoticeable gestures were enough proof that Illumi was embarrassed. For some divine reason Illumi had finally decided to make his hotline bling and that could only mean one thing but he had misunderstood and now Illumi was embarrassed and he would tease him about it for the rest of his life starting right now.

The magician leaned one arm on the frame of the door and placed his other hand on his hip. “Illumi, if you didn’t call me for a job,” Hisoka said with a grin from ear to ear, “does that mean you require other kind of serv-”

“Oh, shut up and come inside!” Illumi pulled Hisoka from the collar of his top and forcefully led him into the room before he could finish the question.

 

 

 

Sometime later, once the reason for the meeting was fulfilled, Illumi lay on his stomach, faced buried in the pillow, and deeply regretted ever texting Hisoka. The redhead lay next to him, hands clasped over his abs and smiling stupidly at the ceiling. Illumi lifted his face just enough to watch Hisoka. He had been grinning like that the whole time and it was starting to get irritating.

“Stop that.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re grinning like an idiot. Stop it.” Illumi squinted at the sound of Hisoka chucking softly in response. “I’m never calling you again.”

Hisoka shifted to his side and put an arm under his head. “Mmm, don’t be like that. You know you will.”

Illumi shot him a scornful side-eye, but said nothing. He didn’t want to waste the last remnants of afterglow arguing with Hisoka. Besides, he was half right. Even if Illumi wouldn’t invite him to his bed again (not in a long time at least), that didn’t mean he wouldn’t go when Hisoka invited him to his. Although it didn’t happen often, they had been fooling around for a while now, and Illumi found no reason to stop. No, they wouldn’t stop, but if Hisoka kept laughing at him he would never ever be the one to take the initiative again.

The assassin closed his eyes and sighed. There was a moment of peaceful silence, and Illumi could feel himself slowly dozing off.

“So what made you decide to call me first anyway?”

The question was like nails scratching glass to the assassin. He had asked Hisoka to come to forget things, not to make him remember.

“I just- I’ve been under a lot of stress.”

“I see… At work?”

Illumi massaged his temples. “No, at home.”

Normally, Hisoka wouldn’t be interested in Illumi’s familiar drama. Dealing with Illumi’s charming personality was one thing, but every time he had to listen about the rest of the family, Hisoka simply entered auto-pilot and nodded without really paying attention. However, since he had been intending to try to get information about the tiny one he had infiltrated at the Zoldyck residence, maybe it was time to ask and actually listen.

“Did something happen?”

“…Your baby.”

“What did she do?”

Illumi turned his face to him. “What could a baby-” He sighed again and lifted himself a little leaning on his forearms. “No. The problem is my mother. She’s become obsessed with the girl you gave me because of some rumor the servants have been telling."

"A rumor?"

"Some stupid gossip about the child being mine."

"Oh my, where could they ever get that idea?," Hisoka asked with a straight face.

"I know right! It's so stupid... But well, I told her it was nothing, even my father talked to her… But she won’t believe us. She thinks I'm hiding something and she's been spying on me. I thought it was only at home, but one day I realized she had sent a butler to spy on me. A butler!”

Hisoka got up and sat closer to him. He brushed the long black hair away from the assassin’s shoulders and started massaging them. “So what did you do?”

“I stuck a needle to his head…” He answered, relaxing at the grasp of the skilled hands. “And I sent him back home with a message for my mother. ‘Don’t send people to follow me. It interferes with my job. If you want to know something, call me, my cellphone works just fine.’”

“Ah, straight and to the point. I'm guessing she didn’t stop, though.”

“Well, she stopped sending butlers, but she started me calling me every 10 minutes. I had to get a new phone.”

“So that’s why you had a different number…”

“Yes… I still have the old one. It’s on mute, but I still answer it from time to time so she doesn’t suspect I have another one…”

“Poor Illu… You have so much patience.” Hisoka said while he kneaded his lower back. Then, with hesitation, he added, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just kick the girl out?”

“Maybe… But if I do that, she wins. I can’t do that. If I play along with her whims they’ll just get worse.”

“Hmm… By the way, what did the butlers call the baby?”

“Mmm… Aiko, I think.”

“Aiko… that’s sweet.”

“I think the head butler sent me a report some days ago. I can send it to you if you want.”

“Sure,” Hisoka said casually, glad that Illumi couldn’t see his happiness from there. “Why not.”

 

 

 

Much more time later, once Hisoka was back at his room at Heaven’s Arena, he lay on his bed with his clothes on and turned on the TV. It was the early morning, but he forced himself to stay awake for a little longer. Illumi had said he would send him ‘a report’. Sure, it had been under the bliss of a massage, but he still wanted to believe he would.

Hours passed, and he got tired of waiting. He changed to his night clothes and when he came back to the bed he discovered his phone’s notification light glowing.

< I send you a report and some photos. Good night.

Hisoka quickly opened the files. The first picture was the baby in her crib. She was much, much more chubby. In the other two, different butlers were holding her and posing. She seemed happy, they all seemed happy. He looked at the report then. It was actually a screenshot of a message; it indicated height, weight, and other information such as sleeping and feeding schedule. Hisoka looked at the photos again. The girl, - _Aiko_ , he reminded himself- seemed to be in good hands.

He tried going to sleep, but there was still something else bugging him. From the conversation they had had earlier, it seemed Illumi was really having a bad time because of their secret agreement. He couldn’t be enduring it just to stand against his lunatic mother's whims. Illumi could deny it all the times he wanted, but that was a favor only a friend would do. Hisoka fidgeted with his phone before opening the chat again.

Thank you. >

Even though it was 4am, a reply came in shortly.

< No problem.

Hisoka smiled to himself, and finally went to sleep.


	5. Petty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA i hadn't noticed so much time had passed for this i'm so sorry, but yeah here!!
> 
> ALSO!!! Thanks to Fachi for this lovely drawing for this fic [❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ](http://hisoillu-is-life.tumblr.com/post/149528594540/she-really-has-your-eyes-illumi-stop-that) Thanksssss~!!
> 
> k bye have a chaptr

The next day, Hisoka wandered through the halls of Heaven’s Arena looking for interesting contestants. There was plenty of time to schedule a new match, so he wanted to make sure the next one was worth the wait. He avoided peeking at the upper floors, people there were too tempting and challenging fighters from different floors was against the rules. He would be patient. He was aiming for the top floor; they were bound to meet someday anyway.

The past two weeks had not been that much of a challenge to his patience, but they had surely been boring. Last time he had been at the Arena, Hisoka had had many things to look forward. Now, his little fruits and his Danchou were who knew where. The only thing that could distract him while he waited for Battle Olympia to take place was helping Illumi with his jobs.

But Illumi wasn’t calling him, at least not for work-related purposes. From the short exchange of words they had had the previous night, Hisoka had found out that Illumi had been in town that day looking for a target.

He had been in the city, he had had a job, and he had not called for his help.

Still, it wasn’t as the assassin had forgotten completely about him, so Hisoka consoled himself thinking that maybe Illumi was just saving him for big, difficult missions, and so it happened that he hadn’t had one of those yet. With this soothing thought in mind, Hisoka let the days pass… And pass… And so they passed until a week had gone by.

Hisoka texted his unofficial friend, just to make sure he was not dead in a ditch somewhere, but none of his messages was received. The phone was out of reach. A couple of days more had to pass before Illumi finally showed signs of life. He sent a text, it was short and precise.

 

< Same hotel. Lounge bar. 8pm.

 

Taking into account that there was no room number this time, Hisoka figured that they were finally going to talk business. However, there was still a slight chance that, if he played his cards well, Illumi would invite him to his room after that, so he took a long time getting ready before parting.

 

 

 

“You’re late,” Illumi told him when he arrived in a tone that was clearly of annoyance.

Hisoka blinked twice. Of course he was late, he was always late; it was almost tradition.

Illumi stared at him intently, as if demanding him to apologize.

“Uh, yes, traffic at this hour, it’s crazy.”

“Well, next time we meet make sure to take traffic into account. Some of us have other places to be and I can’t afford to be late because of you.”

Hisoka remained frozen by the chair next to Illumi. The last remark was so harsh, he was not sure he was really welcomed there. He sat down anyway, but very slowly, to avoid any sudden noise or movement that could anger the Zoldyck even more.

“I made you a list,” Illumi continued as he handed Hisoka a folder. “These are all jobs for the next couple of weeks. All the details are there, even the locations. Please, memorize this and destroy the list. Or take it with you. I don’t care. Just don’t let anyone else get this information.”  

The assassin paused to make sure Hisoka was following before continuing. “I want you to read this carefully. I’ll probably be out of reach the next few days, so if you have any questions, you have to make them now.”

Hisoka quickly skimmed through the schedule. None of the names of the targets or their locations seemed familiar. “Alright, first question. Why does this sound as if you’re not going with me?”

“Because I’m not,” Illumi said as if that was enough explanation. “Oh! I almost forget. The day after the last job, we’ll meet at York New and-” Illumi hesitated, “well, depending on how things go, I might give you a new list or ask you for help with something different.”

Illumi swirled his glass of whisky and only then Hisoka realized that Illumi had one. Usually he would wait, and if the wait was too long he would offer to bring something to him himself. But now he hadn’t.

As Illumi swirled his glass absentmindedly, gaze lost somewhere in the distance, Hisoka started to suspect that this rare display of emotion in his ‘friend’ had something to do with him, at least in some part.

“Illumi, can I ask why you are not going with me?”

The assassin side-eyed him, and for some seconds it seemed that he would not answer.

“Ah, I guess it’s better if I explain…” He said before taking a sip of whisky. “I need you to cover for me while I go searching for Killua.”

 _Killua!_ Of course it had to do with Killua. Only he had the power to make Illumi display emotions visibly. Fortunately, the kid's influence on Illumi was such, that just talking about him calmed him down, made him happier. Hisoka could notice how the eldest brother’s tone turned less and less stern as he explained to him what was happening, and how he had fiinally decided to get Killua back.

It all started with Kikyo. Apparently, she had gotten a lead on where Killua could have been/could still be, and she told her eldest son. She didn’t order him to go to the supposed location where he was spotted, there was no need to. Illumi parted as soon as they had finished talking. It turned out that Killua wasn’t there, but it seemed like he really had been not so long ago, so Illumi started searching in the cities and towns nearby, hoping to find for any kind of clue.

“And in which city was the little assassin spotted?” Hisoka asked, now relieved to see Illumi more relaxed, sitting normally and not stiff like a robot, and playing with the ends of a strand of hair.

“Dosvenya, apparently he was there for a couple of days. I also searched in…”

The name was familiar. Hisoka listened to Illumi name the other places he had checked, and some of them also sounded familiar.

Then it clicked. Dosvenya was a town nearby, and the other places had to be close to it, and therefore close to Hisoka as well. Illumi had been searching for Killua practically in the vicinity of Heaven’s Arena and had not invited Hisoka.

“Oh…” There was a short moment of silence while Illumi drank what was left on his glass. “Why didn’t you tell me? I was free. We could have gone together.”

“Hm? There was no need to.”

One thing was not needing Hisoka for normal assassination missions, but Killua and Alluka were a completely different matter. Maybe the urgency of recovering Alluka was not there anymore, but she was still important and searching with someone else was obviously better than doing it alone. Not that Hisoka would necessarily help _Illumi_ , but still, Illumi didn’t know this. The trickster had not given Illumi any reason for him to be distrustful while they chased his fugitive siblings the last time. Well, maybe one, but nothing important. There was no reason for him not to have called Hisoka, except, of course…

“Are you angry at me?”

The assassin widened his eyes a bit, and Hisoka knew he had guessed correctly. Normally it would have amused him, except that this time he had not planned this. He had done nothing to elicit such behavior from the mostly-full-time-apathetic Illumi.

“I’m not angry, why would I be angry?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

Illumi raised a brow. “Right… Well, anyway, I have to be going now.”

“What? You can’t go. At least tell me why you’re upset.”

“I told you, I’m not upset.”

They hadn’t talked recently, so it wasn’t something he said. Hisoka tried remembering what had happened the last time they met. _We fucked._ He tried remembering if something had happened then, but he couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary. The only different thing was that, for the first time, Illumi had called him first.

“Oooooooh!” Hisoka exclaimed suddenly as Illumi was getting off his chair. “You’re angry because I made you beg!”

Illumi frowned. “What- No! And lower your voice.”

That had to be the cause of all the cold treatment! That was the first time Illumi had called him explicitly and merely for sex, and maybe just maybe Hisoka had teased him way more than he used to because of it. It was almost incredible. Hisoka could understand that he could have felt upset for some while, but he never thought he would hold a grudge for something so petty for a whole week.

“Is that it? Are you angry because I made you beg for-?”

“Shut up! No- Don’t- Just stop. Look, first of all, I’m not angry. Secondly,” and then he lowered his voice, “nothing happened last time we met. Understood?”

Hisoka pouted, then gave Illumi a sly smile. “Sure.”

Illumi gave a single nod, and turned around to go.

“Would you like to make _me_ beg?” Hisoka continued before he started to walk away, and Illumi remained standing, but barely turned his face to him. “Would you like that? To have me completely at your mercy?”

He still didn’t turn back around, but the mere fact that he wasn’t walking away yet meant that he was considering the idea, so Hisoka continued.

“You could have that, you could have me, however you want, if you stay. Please stay. Let's be even.”

This time Illumi did finally face him, but his face was nothing but his usual expressionless mask.

“There’s nothing to be ‘even’ about. I have to go. See you in a couple of weeks. Don’t screw up.”

And just like that, he walked away.

 _Incredible_ , Hisoka thought, _so there’s more ways to get on his nerves than mentioning Killua_. He followed the assassin with his eyes until he disappeared behind the glass doors that led to the hallway and the elevator, and then he huffed a laugh. _Oh well, he can’t be angry forever_.


	6. So nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> like icarus, hisoka is punished for his hubris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, hey! I'm alive, for some reason. And I have produced an almost 9k words chapter, for some reason. My head is a bit foggy, but hopefully this makes sense.  
> Oh, also, I'm gonna change the rating from T to ?, because, uh, there's a bit smutty part, for some reason, from "They started undressing" to "on your face."" (lmao), if you wanna skip it.
> 
> Anyway, here's Wonderwall

The list was long, but Hisoka managed to kill every single person there, plus some others, when the instructions allowed it.

To say he had not had fun with it would be lying, but the whole “not killing” part of the process (the locating, the waiting, and the following of detailed instructions) was tedious enough to remind Hisoka that the profession of assassin was not for him.

For this reason, once he was done with his task, Hisoka lost no time to fly to York New city, and even got there an hour earlier than the appointed time. This time, he was actually so excited to see a familiar face that he didn’t mind breaking his tradition of arriving fashionably late, and installed himself in the overpriced cafeteria on the first floor of the airport to wait.

The TV at the Café was on and showing a local news channel. It was airing some kind of report, but Hisoka was not in the mood to watch it, so he turned his attention to the people outside instead. You could tell which people were waiting for their flights because they kept walking in circles. The ones who had just arrived tended to stop at the souvenir shops before leaving the airport. They were all pretty plain. After a while, it was not entertaining anymore.

He turned to the TV again. Apparently, the news was about a controversy involving local child protective services. Hisoka couldn’t understand why everyone looked so shocked at the news, however. Those places always had problems. Low budgets, overcrowded buildings, lack of supervision from authorities; it was not a good mix.

However, as he kept on watching, he discovered that the situation was worse than he imagined. The controversy was because there had been a leak that, just in that year, 200 children had died while at the care of the state-owned agencies in the city of York New. Not in the streets, and not due to fights, as Hisoka had first supposed, but inside of the state facilities and because of lack of proper care from their employees. In fact, many of those children wouldn’t even have been able to get into fights in the first place, because they were still babies when they died.

“They took my child because I had a few debts,” a mother who was being interview said. “She was sick, but we were treating her, we were in debt because the treatment is expensive but even so, we were treating her. Child services took my little girl, and now a week later after I fix the problem I come back to her and what do I find?” She continued with tears running down her cheeks. “They gave me my little girl dead! They were supposed to take care of her but they let her die!! They killed my baby-“

_Unfortunate_ , Hisoka said to himself as he turned away and tried to block the sound of the mother’s broken voice.  It was sad, but so were many things in the world. _This world was not made for fragile things_. _Fragile things are bound to break_. He tried to focus on this thought to stop another one from filtering into his brain, but it was futile. The story about the abandoned children, abandoned once by their parents and later by the system, inevitably led him to remember someone he had managed to forget about completely during those days.

_I wonder how Aiko is doing_.

He remembered her name, but he could not remember her face anymore. And honestly, he was fine with it. He had not had news about her during those days, but he had not asked either. Aiko was history. Aiko was leading a life detached from his now and they would never have to meet ever again.

_I wonder if she’s healthy, though_.

For a moment, Hisoka thought of asking Illumi once he arrived, but then decided not to.

Sooner or later, fragile things would always end up breaking. There was no use wondering if Aiko was strong or not. If she was, then it would take her many years before becoming someone worth fighting with. If she wasn’t, then she would die. The circumstances were irrelevant; if she wasn’t strong enough, one day a stronger opponent would kill her. It was not an improbable fate for a Zoldyck butler. There was no use thinking about Aiko, so he would never mention her again.

“So far, the administrators of the sued establishments have not made any comments and have remained out of the public sight,” a female correspondent continued. “However, they won’t be able to continue hiding for long. The whole institution is being investigated, as it seems these events are occurring not only in this city, but at national scale.”

“Could you change the channel to something less depressing?” Hisoka asked the cashier, who promptly changed the news channel to a sports one.

 

All the thoughts about Aiko had vanished again by the time Illumi showed up. The assassin looked awful. He had extremely marked dark circles under his eyes, which made him look very, very dead. Not dead in a ‘dead inside’ way, which was Illumi’s default mode somehow, but in a ‘I actually died some days ago and I didn’t notice’ kind of way, which was not that usual.

Hisoka greeted him and the other barely waved as he took the seat in front of him.

“Did you do it?” Illumi asked.

“Yup.”

“All of them?”

Hisoka nodded in response.

“Thank you,” Illumi breathed out before starting to get his associate up to date with his plans.

Since finding information about Killua without the help from his family was a too difficult, Illumi had resorted to find help from outside. In that search, he discovered there was a branch of Hunters who specialized in finding missing persons: Lost Hunters. They were not many, but he managed to get the address of the office of the one who seemed to be the best of them. Sure, the man would probably refuse if he recognized either of them from the small incident with the Hunter Association during the Chairman’s election, but it was nothing that some gentle persuasion couldn’t fix.

“And afterwards, well, what we do next depends on the information this man gives us.”

“I see. Are we going to visit him now?”

Illumi nodded. “Yes, I have the address right here.”

Illumi searched through his pockets and took out a piece of paper.

“…Wait.”

He put aside the paper, which was actually a coffee bill, and continued searching. After a while, he shut his eyes and sighed.

“Can’t find it?” Hisoka asked.

“I must have thrown it away instead of this bill,” Illumi answered irritated, and then added softly, but with feeling, “fuck.”

“Didn’t you save it in your phone?”

 Illumi glared at him in a way that said ‘do I look like I saved it in my phone?’

“Why didn’t you?”

“…I cracked my phone’s screen and haven’t been able to get another one yet,” he muttered.

Hisoka contained a laugh. It was funny to see Illumi making mistakes, especially silly ones.

“Ok ok~ So what do we do now?” He asked. It was kind of obvious, but this was Illumi’s mission after all, so he got to give the orders.

But Illumi wasn’t speaking. His eyes were lost on the surface of their table, silent, unblinking, like a fresh zombie.

“Illumi? Are you alright?”

“Huh?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m just tired…”

“You? Tired?”

“I haven’t been sleeping well.” Illumi said, then after a short pause he added, “Actually, I haven’t slept for a few days, to be more precise.”

For Illumi to be that tired, Hisoka figured he must have been awake for _many_ days, more days than any person, normal or Zoldyck, should stay awake for.

“Are you sure you are ok?” Then, after the question was answered with another short glare, he added, “I’m being serious. Look, if you did something as silly as throwing away valuable info, maybe you are a bit too tired and need to take a break.”

Illumi’s brows threatened to turn into a frown, but didn’t.

“…I can’t yet. I have to be somewhere else by tomorrow morning, so I need to solve this today.” He explained. “After that, I can rest.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? You could have rested while I looked for the guy.”

Illumi shook his head. “Too important. I have to go too.”

It was Hisoka who sighed now. There was no use arguing with Illumi when an idea got stuck in his brain. It was almost frustrating to see how much unnecessary trouble Illumi was taking. All he had to do was get to an agreement with his parents. If Illumi and his father got to an agreement, the search would go much smoother and Illumi wouldn’t be so stressed pretending he was not looking for the brat. If his father wanted the kid back too, then sending Illumi after him again was the best thing to do. Unless the old man believed the kid would come back on his own. _As if, no one could be that dumb._

“Alright, how did you find the address?” Hisoka asked patiently. “Can you find it again?”

“I think so, but I’ll need a computer to access the Hunter’s site.”

Just like everything else at the airport, the cyber café was ridiculously overpriced. It didn’t matter, since they managed to find the address again.

_The office number was 505, so the office must be on the fifth floor_ , Illumi reasoned once they got to the building, so he walked in and went directly to the elevator.

“Excuse me, could you tell me on which floor office 505 is?”

Illumi turned around to see Hisoka talking to the porter. _Why. There was no need. Why do you always have to talk to everyon-_

“505? Oh, if you are looking for Mr. Highland, I’m afraid you won’t find him there.”

“Ah, is he on his lunch break?”

“No… He… We haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“What do you mean?” asked Illumi this time as he walked fast to their side.

“Mr. Loupe Highland is missing. He went missing months ago.”

Illumi was about to ask if he was fucking with them until a soft nudge from Hisoka stopped him.

“We had no idea. We saw him being recommended online and wanted to hire him, but no one mentioned he was missing,” Hisoka said faking concern. “What happened to him?”

“We don’t know! It was during the Hunter’s Association chairman election. I remember because we talked about it. He wanted to become chairman. He was already making alliances and such, but one day he went on a job for the Association and never came back!”

The two men looked at each other briefly to confirm they were both thinking the same thing.

“Does the Association know about this?” Illumi asked calmly.

But the porter shook his head. “I told them after the first week passed. I told both them and the police, but they found nothing. It was really strange.”

Illumi felt his stomach turn into stone. The disappearance could have perfectly been his fault. If it happened during the Chairman’s election, there was a chance he or Hisoka had killed him while chasing Killua and Alluka.

“Maybe we should get into his office,” Illumi said to Hisoka.

“But if it is _that_ …”

“We still need to confirm it. Maybe there’s something there that can help us.”

“Hey, hold up, I can’t let you in without permission,” the porter interrupted.

The two men looked at the porter as if they had just remembered he was there. How silly of him, to think he could deny them entrance.

 

Loupe Highland’s office looked neat and normal, as if the man would come back any moment. There weren’t many personal items there, but there was a photo, a cut-out from a newspaper. Loupe didn’t look familiar to any of them, which was good! Thinking positively, if none of them remembered him, maybe he wasn’t in the group of Hunters that they obliterated and the disappearance was because of other reasons. Then again, that was optimistically speaking. Truth was that Illumi barely remembered people from that time, Hisoka even less. There could still be a chance that they had met him… It was frustrating. Nothing in the room gave them clues about where the man could be; no computers, no notebooks or planners, just a bunch of psychology books and a desk.

Illumi leaned back on the seat of the desk. His eyes were as vacant as in the morning at the airport.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we _did_ kill him though?”

Hisoka’s question only made Illumi feel worse. It was not funny. It was a waste of time. They had already wasted time going there and would only lose more trying to find clues somewhere else, because if the place was so clean and impersonal it was totally deliberate and tracking down this person would take longer than a day.

“I should have foreseen this,” Illumi muttered to himself.

He could have, should have. He had gotten the idea of hiring a professional investigator long ago, but since he was sure no one knew Killua better than him, he decided to try alone first. If he had been less proud, he would have found out about Loupe way ago and they wouldn’t have lost an entire day going to York.

“There’s no way you could have foreseen this,” Hisoka replied.

Illumi went quiet, but Hisoka knew exactly what he was thinking. He was thinking that yes, he could have, if he had investigated further. That would be true, under different circumstances. Illumi did not count with his family’s technology and resources at the time. Saying he should have foreseen the situation was being too hard on oneself.

Still, he said nothing of this and rejoiced in the glimpses of despair that were starting to filter in Illumi’s usually stoic face.

“So, Loupe is lost. What do we do now?”

“There were a couple of other Lost Hunters listed online. They didn’t look professional, but, given the circumstances, maybe I should contact them anyway.”

Hisoka watched Illumi’s eyes narrow slightly as he said this. Clearly he hated the idea. He could tell why. They did not have time to go on a wild-goose chase, or well, Illumi at least.

“There’s something else you can do,” Hisoka said, and waited to have the other’s full attention before continuing. “Put an ad! Some Hunters don’t like to be listed at the Association’s site, but maybe they will respond to an ad.”

The way Illumi widened his eyes would never cease to be funny to him. Whenever he was surprised, Illumi would open his already big eyes even wider and yet open his mouth so slightly, in such a tiny circle, like a small owl, and frankly it was too cute an expression for someone who killed for a living.

“You’re right,” Illumi said, and smiled slightly. “Thank you.”

Frankly, Hisoka was sure that the idea would have come to Illumi sooner or later, when his mind was fully awake again, but he accepted the thanks anyway with a soft nod. Illumi stood up and rushed to the door.

“Wait, where are you going?”

Illumi stopped and cocked his head in that owlish-cattish way he did and that was also funny-cute and unfitting.

“To find a computer and post the ad.”

“Right now? Aren’t we going to take a break?”

“Why would we take a break?”

“Maybe because lunch time happened long ago and we skipped it to come here?”

“Oh… Yeah we can eat later.”

“Illumi,” Hisoka put both hands on Illumi’s shoulder, “it won’t make any difference what time you post the ad. We can eat. We should eat.”

“But-”

“The internet will still be there once we’re done eating and there’s still going to be hunters waiting for job offers. It’s alright. We can take a break.”

Illumi stared blankly at him for what seemed centuries before sighing and giving up. “You’re right.”

“When aren’t I?”

Illumi side-eyed him. “Let’s go.”

 

The thing about hanging out with Illumi was that it was not really as boring as everyone else seemed to expect. Everyone else being Chrollo and Machi, the only two people patient enough to listen to him, besides Illumi. _“I don’t know why you’re telling me this but if someone as cold as that man exists then I don’t get why he would hang out with you, or anyone, for that matter,”_ Machi had said. Chrollo was even more incredulous. He had met Illumi a couple of times and just could not imagine him doing anything other than what his job required. _“Hisoka, I know I might be a bit gullible sometimes but you can’t expect me to believe you went out with him.” “We did!” “Of course you did.” “But it’s true. We got Starboxs coffee.  He asked for an espresso and forgot to put sugar in it. Drank it anyway, like it was water.” “Yeah right. Where are the photos then?” “Oh, I can’t take photos. He doesn’t like pictures.” “Neither does the Loch Ness monster. Look, if you’re going to lie, lie better, please.”_

Hisoka didn’t blame them. It was hard to believe Illumi would be friends with anyone. Damn, even Illumi thought he wasn’t friends with anyone. But it was true. What other reason could there be for Illumi to stick around? Anyway, the thing was, it was fun. Once he had convinced him of taking a break for lunch, it was not difficult to make him let Hisoka choose the place.

First, Hisoka casually started talking about the different kinds of food he had tried at York New and how it was one of his favorite cities because of how much diversity you could find. That was a lie, he didn’t care much about any city, but the lie managed to lead Illumi to think that there was not really a need to eat in the first restaurant they found, and that they could go somewhere else. After that, Hisoka suggested a place, which was not really near, but it was a Japanese restaurant that Illumi would surely love and that was also on a shopping district he hadn’t visited in long. His friend, of course, said yes.

Illumi was not a picky eater. He had been trained to stand days without food, as well as eating anything for survival, but that didn’t mean he had no favorite meals. In fact, Hisoka had discovered Illumi had a special love for homemade-like foods, like yakiniku and shabu shabu, both specialties of the restaurant they were going to. He also knew, despite how immature it was, that if he took one of the meat slices from Illumi’s side, he would fight with his chopsticks to get it back. Doing that meant starting war, however, and they both ended up eating the other’s plate in the end.

Who would ever believe that? That Illumi would spare with him over food, that he actually liked chatting, that he liked _him_ … It was good that no one believed him though, Hisoka decided. It gave their unusual relationship not only secrecy, but intimacy as well. The Illumi that was next to him trying to ask a shop clerk how much the phones on display could resist was one only Hisoka got to see. No one else got to see him struggle later with the device to set the date and time. No one else was offered said device to fix it in his place, no one else got the chance to sneakily put the salsa ringtone as default and no one else’s shoulder served as pillow as Illumi rested his head on it and closed his eyes for a bit. This was all just for him to enjoy.

“Where are we going now?”

“The hotel I’m staying in,” Illumi answered, and before Hisoka could make any comment he added, “It has a cyber café. We can search for the other Lost Hunters and post the ad there.”

Hisoka resisted the impulse to ask “haha and then what”. If Illumi wanted to have some extra fun, he would have already mentioned it. Besides, he had to be dead tired by now. It wasn’t like it would be much fun like that anyway.

 

As they entered the hotel, a feeling of déjà vu invaded Hisoka. “You may have been here before,” Illumi told him, “I always stay here when I come to York New. Maybe we met here once.” It was possible. Or maybe he was just confusing the place. Hotels were all similar, after all.

 

 

“Five people, one of them has got to be good, right?” Hisoka said trying to cheer Illumi up after they had finished searching. “Did you put up the ad?”

Illumi gave a nod.

“Then we are done,” Hisoka said and stretched his arms. “People should start replying soon.”

A hand swiftly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down. Shielded by the screen of a desktop computer, Illumi kissed him.

“Thank you,” he whispered without letting go of his grasp, “for your help.”

Hisoka swallowed. He had already gotten used to the idea that nothing else would happen that night, and that it was fine as he could find something, or someone else, more interesting to do later.

“No need to thank me. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Ah, then, if I asked you to help me with one last thing…” Illumi said as his hand slid down all the way from his chest to his crotch.

 

They started undressing as soon as they had closed the door of Illumi’s room. There was such urgency in the way Illumi kissed him, such necessity, that Hisoka could only comply and follow him down to the bed without any comment or delay. That was when he discovered something wonderful. Even though it was true that Illumi was not as strong as usual, it didn’t make things boring at all. On the contrary, it made them very, very interesting.

It was the view. Hisoka could not quite find the words to describe the sight of Illumi with his arms over his head, hands clutching at the sheets, pillows, anything they could reach. His eyes were barely open, glazy and lost, so lost in ecstasy that at moments Hisoka wondered if he still remembered he was also there. Not that he minded if he didn’t, he actually hoped that was the case. He wanted to fuck him so well he forgot even his own name. And maybe he could. Illumi seemed so into it this time that he was not even trying to keep monastically quiet. His mouth was agape and producing so many cute sounds, so many whimpers and hisses and pants that it only made Hisoka keep thrusting harder and harder, make sure he stayed breathless and with that look of total surrender he had never seen before. Because that was the thing, Illumi had surrendered to both him and his own pleasure, and it was a gift he had never gotten before, but now, it was his.

It was all his. Illumi was the perfect plaything, and it belonged to him. It was his right, practically. Hisoka was sure that no one else had ever gotten to see Illumi in this state of debauchery, just as he was sure no one else would ever get to, because there was no one else who would be able to satisfy Illumi as well as he did. And he would prove it to him.

Hisoka leant down and held Illumi’s arms in a firm grasp, so when he sunk his teeth into the skin of the assassin he couldn’t stop him. The sharp pain made Illumi gasp and arch his back, and the way he hopelessly tried to release himself from his grip only made Hisoka bite deeper, pierce the soft yet tough skin of his precious toy.

Illumi kept trying to pull his arms free, only for Hisoka to pin them down again. He was not supposed to leave marks. Bruises were fine but this was obviously not a fight wound. Illumi tried reminding him, but it was difficult to form a full sentence when Hisoka kept ramming into him with short yet ruthless thrusts, all while still nibbling and sucking at his wounded skin. The result was just pathetic stuttering. Only Hisoka’s name made it out of his mouth, chopped and way more pleading than he would have liked it to sound.

But Hisoka loved it. The way Illumi kept chanting his name was so intoxicating, Hisoka had to shut his eyes tight and stop not to come in that instant. He let go of Illumi’ wrists and lifted himself up, pleased with the annoyed yet blissed-out look on the assassin’s face.

“Marks,” Illumi managed to say as he tried to regain his breath.

Hisoka snorted. “Oh, sorry,” and immediately after saying this, he leant down and kissed him, tugged at his bottom lip and sliced it as well. “I forgot.”

Illumi glared at him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders to pull him closer again, to return the kiss and return the cut. There were no more words after that, just choked moans and the creaking of the bed as they resumed the repetitive motions, quickly increasing its tempo until they were both sweaty, panting messes again, and until both fell into the warm embrace of climax.

Hisoka sat up to delight in the view once more. Lying carelessly on the crumpled cover, with his face flushed, lips red and swollen and a glistening trail of come over the satiny skin of his torso, Illumi had the beauty of a decadent painting, one for which only Hisoka was responsible, and one that was also, once more, for his eyes only.

Slowly, Hisoka licked the white that both tarnished and exalted his favorite toy, careful not to miss a single drop. Because he _was_ his favorite toy. At that moment, at least, Illumi was the most precious plaything from his whole collection. He licked all the way up to his chest, and found that Illumi was watching him silent yet intently. In all the frenzy, they had barely spoken. Hisoka had barely recited him the lines that had become almost ritual by then. Illumi was waiting for them, and who was Hisoka to deny something to his favorite toy? He nuzzled his ear as he praised him, filled him with obviously exaggerated compliments, and then, sincerely, he added a last sentence.

“We should have filmed this.”

Illumi barely managed to hold a laugh, and pushed him away nonchalantly, with his hand right against his face. “Keep dreaming.”

Hisoka smiled as well, happy that the honeyed words had achieved its goal.

“I mean it,” he continued as he walked to the bathroom, “you looked really hot.”

The redhead looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and was pleased to see he was also a work of art himself. He took a brief shower, just enough to wash away the smudged makeup and hair gel, dried up and went back to the room.

“When we film it, remind me to cum on your face.”

Luckily (or sadly, depending on the point of view), Illumi didn’t seem to hear the classy comment. He was lying on the bed with his eyes shut, although he was not underneath the sheets. The covers were pushed down, as if he had tried covering himself, but gave up halfway.

“Are you sleeping?”

Illumi answered with a grumble, but didn’t move or bat an eye. He was not full asleep, but he wasn’t really there either.

Hisoka sat on the edge of the bed as he put on his clothes.

“Illu, aren’t you going to take a bath?”

Illumi hummed something that sounded like a ‘yeah’, but still didn’t move an inch.

“Are you tired?”

The same hum came as response and Hisoka smirked, wondering how longer he could keep asking things until he got grumpy and threw a pillow at him.

“So will you let me record us next time?”

Hisoka got the same muffled yeah as response and he laughed to himself.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Instead of continuing bothering, Hisoka pulled the covers up and covered Illumi well. The assassin opened his eyes just a crack, and shut them again.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, and Hisoka smiled. He had achieved a new record of ‘thank yous’ that day.

Before putting on his shoes, Hisoka turned to watch Illumi one more time. He looked comfy, comfy and peaceful and warm, and Hisoka wished he didn’t have to leave.

_Wait a minute._

Did he really have to leave? They never slept at the other’s place. However, Hisoka wasn’t really sure of the reason. Illumi had set it as condition when they first started fooling around and of course he just rolled with it. But now…

_The bed is so big… Illumi doesn’t leave until tomorrow and I have nothing else to do until he calls me again, which could be in two days or even more, depending on whatever business he has…_

 Carefully, Hisoka crept onto the bed. He felt nervous, but the day had gone so well that he had to try. He settled next to Illumi, waited to make sure he hadn’t waken up, and started running his fingers through his hair softly.

“Illumi? …Hey, Illumi…”

The same vague yeah was hummed, shorter this time.

“Illu, can I stay?”

Almost immediately, Illumi repeated the sound.

“Can I stay?” Hisoka asked again, conscious that Illumi wasn’t really listening, but trying to give him a chance.

Illumi hummed again, and even though it wasn’t really a word, Hisoka decided to take it as a yeah again. The worst that could happen was that Illumi woke up as he slid under the covers and said a real, clear ‘no’, but, why would he? Why couldn’t they sleep together? Or rather, next to each other, as they had already slept together in the non literal meaning of the phrase.

Even with this logic in mind, Hisoka got into bed very, very slowly. However, it was impossible not to make the mattress shift under his weight, and when Illumi moved, Hisoka was sure he was going to kick him out.

But he didn’t. Hisoka took a deep breath. He hadn’t awaken, he had just turned on his side, facing him.

The rule was important. Hisoka didn’t know exactly why Illumi had created it, but he knew it was important for him. They had followed it for so long, as impractical as it could be sometimes, but now there was no logical excuse not to break it. Taking into account all the things they had done, and not only that night but also in the past, being reluctant about sleeping next to each other was ridiculous.

Fear wasn’t an issue either. They knew each other well enough to know none of them were so uncivilized to kill the other in their sleep, no matter how easy it could be. Hisoka caressed Illumi’s head as he thought of how easy yet how boring it would be to kill him now. Illumi was not a 100, but he was worthy of wait until he became one, or until he finally agreed to fight him for real… But was he really? Lately, Hisoka had found himself wondering about this. Did he really want that time to come? The more time they spent together, the more he came to know about him, about how he thought, and how he fought. If he kept waiting, by the time Illumi reached the so desired 100 points, Hisoka would know him so well there would be no surprises in their fight.

This lead to the following question: if waiting could end up being negative, wouldn’t it be better to just force the encounter? It wasn’t going to be easy, of course, but it was doable.

Besides, dullness was not the only possible problem; if he waited too long, there was also the risk of something happening. What exactly? Damned if he knew, but after what had happened with Chrollo anything was possible.

Hisoka sighed. The second course of action was unmistakably the safest if he wanted to secure the fight, yet still…

Illumi moved again and Hisoka’s breath stopped. _No, I did it. I woke up the cat._

Surprisingly, it was not exactly that; instead of waking up, Illumi moved closer to the magician, and put an arm around him.

Hisoka widened his eyes in disbelief and froze. Illumi was hugging him. Illumi. Cuddling with him.

Promptly, he adjusted himself so both were more comfortable, still incredibly happy and incredibly amazed.

Hisoka kept idly playing with the long black hair. Illumi liked him, really liked him. There was no denying it after that. How good it felt to know one of his favorite toys liked him so much!

Because he was one of the favorites but, bliss already over, he was not _the_ favorite anymore.

Hisoka touched the cut Illumi had left on his lip, and thought of the one he had left on him as well.

Why wasn’t he the favorite? From all his collection, Illumi was the only one that came with benefits. Shouldn’t that make him the favorite? Or was that somehow affecting his ranking?

It didn’t make sense, but at the same time, it was one of the most significant differences between him and the rest. That, and something else. As ironic as it was, Illumi was also the one who was the friendliest towards him. The time they didn’t spend fucking or fighting others, they made each other company.

Could that be it? That he was growing tired of him? Then again, if that was the case, it only created more questions.

_If I’m tired of you, why don’t I just throw you away?_

Hisoka pinched the fresh wound on his lip.

_Could it be that I should start questioning your belonging in my box of toys?_

The question was worrying, but pertinent. The issue with Illumi was that he was not sure what to do with him. Broken or unsatisfactory toys were taken out of his mental box regularly, but Illumi was neither of those.

If Illumi was not a toy, what else could he be? Hisoka certainly didn’t love him, and he was not that naïve to believe Illumi loved him or would get to love him one day. Then what? Should he make a different set? Put him aside on a higher shelf? One for longer-term toys? Toys whose main feature was not fighting and being disposed of, but ones you could take with you and keep you company?

_Yeah that could work._

Hisoka stared at the ceiling.

_That also sounds a lot like a partner._

But it wasn’t. It was important to remember that the nature of whatever they had would never be romantic. Team-like, maybe, but nothing else. Also, the ‘long term’ part still implied that their stay on that imaginary shelf was temporary. Illumi was not exempted from the death row; he was just not with the first names of the list anymore. However, if his company ever got boring, he would go right back to the top tiers.

Hisoka sighed. It was dark outside already, but he wasn’t tired enough to sleep so he reached for the remote and turned on the TV, making sure to lower the volume immediately after.

“The Dark Continent-!” said a reporter before he changed the channel.

“A ship to the Dark-!” said another before he changed it again.

 “Hundreds of people will gather to see the departure of the ship to the Dark Continent!”

_Ugh, why are there so many news channels on cable? It’s the same things over and over._

Hisoka kept skipping channels until he found something he recognized: a rerun of Yorbian’s Next Top Model. _Now we are talking_.

Illumi groaned in his sleep, and Hisoka quickly went back to caressing his head until he seemed deep asleep again.

_This could be nice_ , he thought. _I could get used to this_.

 

Illumi was warm and cozy, but there was a noise that had been bothering him for a while, and he could not keep trying to ignore it anymore.

“How could you, Tiffany? They were all rooting for you.”

The sound of Hisoka’s voice managed to make him open his eyes, tough it took him a couple of seconds to fully remember where he was, and another two to realize the position he was in. Quickly, he pulled his arm away and leaned on an elbow to straighten up, create some distance from the chest he was using as pillow just seconds ago.

“Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?”

“What are you doing?” Illumi asked in a calm tone, yet staring at him like a deer in headlights.

“Just watching a show. I can turn it off if you want.”

Illumi kept silent with his jaw lightly hanging for a moment.

“No, I meant, what are you still doing here?”

_Oh._

Almost four hours had passed since Illumi had fallen asleep, so Hisoka had forgotten about the chance of this happening.

“You told me to stay,” he lied. He knew very well that the yeah he had gotten before was as legitimate as the yeah from a drunk person, but those were just details.

“I did? I… I don’t think I did.”

“Oh, well, you were kind of tired so you must have forgotten,” Hisoka said as he turned off the TV anyway. Then, he put the remote away and turned to Illumi with a vulpine smile.

The confidence that emanated from Hisoka was so strong, that it was both convincing and confusing, because even though Illumi believed him, he was also sure there was no reason for him to ask for that.

“Ah… I’m sorry, then. I didn’t mean to confuse you,” Illumi said after a moment, “but I’m tired, and I have a long day coming tomorrow, so I think you should go.”

So he was kicking him out. Hisoka feared this would happen, but after the unequivocal display of affection Illumi had showed him, he was filled with a new determination not to let himself be dismissed that easily… Especially because it was 2 am and he didn’t have a room of his own to spend the night.

_Illumi likes me and he wants me here. He just has to come to terms with it_.

“Do I really have to go though?”

Illumi’s eyes opened like saucers. “Yes.”

“But why?” Hisoka purred as he stretched and slid further down the bed.

“What do you mean why? I want to sleep. Please go.”

“Why do I have to?” Hisoka pressed. “Tell me a single valid reason why I can’t sleep with you. Literally speaking~”

Illumi was taken aback for a moment. The topic was not necessarily taboo, but it had never been discussed before, not in depth, or so directly. Still, it was nothing Illumi couldn’t handle. An argument was a spoken battle, and if Hisoka wanted to have one at fucking 2 am instead of just letting him rest, then he would give it to him.

Illumi tilted his head, and smirked. He looked at him like he had just told him the funniest joke in the world, but also the most disgusting.

“Why would you?” He asked back, and each word was dragged, uttered with the same amusement and antipathy his face was showing.

And it worked.

Hisoka combed his hair back with his fingers trying to keep his cool. This was disdain. It was not anger or indifference, reactions to which he was already used to. No, Illumi was looking at him like he was some filthy stray dog that had somehow gotten in the room, and he knew it had to be on purpose, that Illumi couldn’t feel that way about him, but even so, it didn’t feel good.

So he repeated to himself that this was all just a tantrum, product of all that Zoldyck brainwash about friendships and anything that resembled one. He just had to make Illumi see that, yeah, maybe they were not conventional ‘business associates’, but it was nothing to make a fuss about.

“It’s late and I’m tired and it doesn’t make sense to get another room when we both fit so nicely in here.” He answered calmly, yet firmly.

“You’re a Hunter. You can pay for your own room.”

Hisoka frowned. “Yes… but that’s not the point.”

And before he could ask Illumi to stop avoiding his first question, the assassin interrupted him.

“Hisoka, why do you want to stay?” He asked with a graver tone. “Do you want to keep having sex? Because if it’s that, I think you should find someone who doesn’t have to get up at 6 am.”

“It’s not that,” Hisoka said half laughing. It was funny to hear himself saying that, but it was true, he honestly just wanted to watch some more models and then sleep.

Illumi, however, didn’t find the answer that entertaining.

“Then what?” He asked raising his voice. “Why? I don’t understand. What do you want?”

“To sleep,” Hisoka answered with a shrug.

If looks could kill, Hisoka was sure he would be dead already. Illumi covered his forehead with a hand and rubbed his eyes. When he looked back, he had this face he had realized something very important.

“Does this have anything to do with your delusions of friendship?”

Hisoka let out a short laugh. _Yes! And no!! It’s not delusions!! It’s real! And it should be me asking that! Not you!_

 

But he didn’t have a chance to word his thoughts. At the sight of Hisoka’s smile, Illumi let his hand fall heavily on his lap.

“I can’t believe this. So it really has to do with that. Tell me, what is it now? Do you believe we are friends?” And then he gasped at another realization. “Do you believe we are something more?”

Hisoka opened his mouth wide, not knowing where to start. No, he didn’t believe they were friends, he knew they were, or at least that Illumi was his friend, and as for the other part-

A sardonic laugh startled the trickster before he could answer again.

“Oh, Hisoka, did you really think I felt something for you?”

“No -” Hisoka started, only to be interrupted by a suddenly serious Illumi, the one with the blank expression, the face that was supposed to be for the rest of the world and not him.

“Shut up. Just shut up. Look, the only reason we spend time together is for mutual benefit. Nothing else. We are not friends. We are not lovers. We don’t share rooms if not needed, much less beds. Now, if you were so kind to leave me alone.”

Illumi gestured at the door with a casual flick of his wrist, and Hisoka blinked many times, first in disbelief, then in anger, and finally in fake calm.

He put on his shoes and, without a word, he started walking to the door.

“Hisoka,” Illumi called once more, and his voice was much softer, so much that Hisoka instantly turned around, with the inevitable hope Illumi had realized how unnecessarily hurtful and full of bullshit he had been, and wanted to apologize.

“Could you please hang that ‘Don’t Disturb’ sign outside? That one on the table.”

Hisoka looked at the sign Illumi was pointing at, then back at him, and with a smile worthy of a beauty pageant winner he answered, “Sure! Have a good night.”

 

Hisoka closed the door behind him, and threw the sign away so strongly that it plunged into a wall.

_Not friends, he said, not friends my ass!_

Illumi and him were friends. They _were_ , in past tense, because after that any possible chance of ascending to something else had been cancelled. Hisoka would have absolutely no mercy when the day they finally fought came. And it would, and it would be soon because he no longer had interest in seeing how far Illumi could grow.

_I can’t believe how he has the nerve- As if admitting we are friends would make the assassin police come and take him away. A grown up man- And I wasn’t even really going for that! All I wanted, all I fucking wanted, was to chill and to have a fucking nice time but nooooooo!_

Hisoka pressed, almost punched, the elevator button.

_What’s wrong with him? Why is he- so- close-minded?!_

Hisoka walked into the elevator. It was empty except for the sound of bossa nova as background music.

_It’s not like I was asking to get matching tattoos or BFF shirts. All I wanted was to stay for the night. It was not that hard! If he didn’t want me near, all he had to do was pick a side and stay there. That was all he had to do!_

Hisoka took a deep breath and tried to think of something else. He had to be careful when deciding what he would do now about the eldest Zoldyck brother. The only distracting thing inside was the bossa nova music, so he decided to listen to it while he counted to ten, or twenty, or one hundred.

“Someone to hold me tight, that would be very nice,” a soothing voice sung. “Someone to love me right, that would be very nice. Someone to understand each little dream in me. Someone to take my hand and be a team with me.”

The magician squinted at the tiny speakers over the button panel. _Is this a joke?_

Once again Hisoka was remembered of Illumi and how he had thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be something like a team. _What and idiot. How could I ever think that I could expect Illumi to be reasonable? That man is crazy, nothing but a bunch of family issues. Psychology scholars could feast on him._

Hisoka tried to clear his mind from both the sappy song and his former associate. It would do him no good to keep rubbing salt in the wounds. If Illumi had decided to let the opportunity of sitting at his right hand go to waste, then so be it. He was not going to beg him for anything.

Before leaving the building, the trickster stopped by the front desk.

“The man in room 408 needs to be waken up at 5 am, if you could please give him a call. Ah! Actually, knock on his door as well. He might disconnect the telephone. Thank you.”

 

If there was something positive to be taken from this situation, was that York New was still awake at that hour, so even if Hisoka didn’t have a room to spend the night, it wasn’t really necessary. There was a world of possibility out there, waiting right around the corner. Literally around the corner. Hisoka didn’t have to walk much to find a place that looked promising. It was a dance club called Arife. The entrance looked almost classy with its red carpet, neon lights and bouncers dressed like the men in black, but what made it real interesting was the kind of people who were going in, all of them clearly members of the underground world.

The Arife club looked as any other night club on the inside, and for this same reason, Hisoka knew that there had to be a VIP section for the fat cats to lounge. Even if he was new there, it wasn’t hard to get in. All he had to do was to show his Hunter’s license and the velvet ropes were lifted.

The highlight of the VIP section was its dancers. The first thing he saw after entering the dimly lit underground room, was the lights from the small stages in which a pole dancer, or sometimes two, danced for a group of up to five people, sitting on leather chairs around the stages.

After getting used to the new lighting, the second thing he noticed was that there were booths, for more private dances. Just how private those sessions could get was unclear, as the ones being used were covered by thick velvet curtains.

Hisoka paced till the end of the room and sat by the bar to survey the people inside calmly. He thought of asking for a drink, and when he turned to the bartender he discovered they not only had a list of drinks, but also of their dancers. Men and women were listed with a profile picture and prices and you could order them for your table just as if they were a mojito or a margarita. _There is a girl called Margarita as well!_ Hisoka laughed to himself as he went through the girl side of the menu. _I wonder if they have someone who looks like Illumi. It would be fun to see them work the pole-_

And then his heart stopped. On the bottom of the second page, a woman with long black hair and sultry black eyes posed for her profile picture.

The memories came back to him like a wave, hitting him all at once. He was not a stranger to the Arife nightclub. He didn’t remember well when, or why, but he remembered going to a club and having the same train of thought about Illumi. The memory was too specific to say it was déjà vu again. He remembered being angry at him, and he remembered finding a club and finding this girl and thinking _WOAH THIS GIRL REMINDS ME OF ILLUMI, MAYBE WITH A COUPLE OF SHOTS I CAN PRETEND SHE’S HIM DISGUISED AND MAKE HER STRIP AND DANCE FOR MONEY. HOW FUNNY WOULD THAT BE?   HOW   FUNNY  WOULD  THAT  BE ?_

“Are you going to order?” The bartender suddenly asked, almost making Hisoka jump.

“Yes. This girl. Jinsil,” he managed to say.

“Oooh, I’m sorry, but Jinsil is not available. She left recently.”

Upon hearing she was not there, Hisoka felt relief… Which lasted only until he processed the last part of that sentence.

“Recently?”

“Yes, she left just a couple of days ago, that’s why she is still on the menu. I’m sorry. Would you like to pick any of the other girls?”

_A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO_ Hisoka felt as if he had just taken 10 shots of tequila all in one go. “Um, hey, here’s the thing. I came here just for her. A friend recommended her to me, and I really, really want to see her. Do you know if she might be coming back? Or where she’s gone to?”

The bartender looked pensive for a moment, but Hisoka’s face of distress made him give in.

“I don’t think she’s coming back. Listen, I’m not supposed to share info about the dancers’ private life, but I have solid reason to believe she’s not coming back.” The bartender looked sideways, and when he made sure no one else was listening to them he let out the whole gossip. “There was a man who had been coming for months, big spender. Soon it became obvious he had a thing for this girl. One day our boss got this call from her saying she was going away with him and that she quit, just like that, she quit. He was pissed, so, even if she ever leaves that man and tries to come back, I don’t think he’ll take her in again…” And after a pause, he added a last comment, because who cared, if he had already spilled so much. “I mean, she already took a long leave once. I’m not sure, because I never talked much to her, but there was this rumor going around that she had a kid… Ha! Maybe it was that man’s! If that’s the case I don’t think she’ll be ever coming back. If you don’t wanna lose the trip here though, I’d recommend ordering Hyacinth, she’s pretty good.”

Hisoka had to hold onto the bar with both hands to receive all the new information. Not only was Aiko’s mother real, but the possibility of her story being real as well had increased _alarmingly_. At the same time, some details from the bartender contradicted those of her letter. If she had left only days ago, and if that man had been visiting her for months, she was not the poor jobless woman she claimed in her letter. Jinsil was real, but she was a liar. She probably had a baby, but she was a liar. They had probably spend one night together, but she was a liar, and most importantly, he had no idea where the fuck she could be now so he couldn’t ask her what was the truth.

“Hey, are you ok?” The bartender asked Hisoka. “You look pale.”

“Ah… Yeah, I’m not feeling well. I think I should go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^) heh
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and nice comments! I'll start working on the next chapter as soon as this hellish season is over~ In the meantime, you can find me on tumblr here -> https://spoiledfawn.tumblr.com/.  
> Thank~ ❤❤❤
> 
> (Oh! also! the elevator song is real and is So Nice by Olivia Ong, for the curious~)


	7. wake up call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am- so sorry.  
> I literally thought it had been about two months since the last time i had updated this.  
> It was not.
> 
> I have a friend who sometimes asked me about the fics but, without clear numbers about how much time had really passed, :'')) my fuckn brain just assumed it was "about 2 months", which is, to me, the equivalent of "not that long".
> 
> Ye....................
> 
> I wish I could promise more updates, like, sooner, but..... my life's still a mess with no signs of getting any better, in any future. I'll try my best not to forget again. You can remind me from time to time at tumblr too, @say0ko
> 
> Anyway, if you're still reading this, bless you. Here's wonderwall.

Illumi didn’t remember telling the hotel staff to give him a wake-up call, less one so early in the morning. He had been tired lately though, so he had probably just forgotten having done that.

The call was actually a good thing. He didn’t plan on waking up until a couple of hours later, but truth was, if he wanted to see the ship to the Dark Continent before it embarked, the sooner he parted, the better.

He quickly got up and tried not to let his mind wander away from his current plans. He had to get to the port, he had to see if Killua was somewhere around, and he had to catch Kalluto one last time before he left. Well, the last one was not an imperative, but he did want to check on him. The journey to the Dark Continent was not a weekend trip.

When he got to the bathroom, the image in the mirror was shocking enough to shake the thoughts of his plans away. Illumi still looked dead tired, arguably even more than before. He got closer to the mirror and stared at the corners of his mouth and eyes. He knew it was irrational, but he was expecting to see wrinkles. He hated acting, he hated that Hisoka had made him do that. Because it was totally Hisoka’s fault. They were not supposed to be together like _that_. Hisoka was twisting the rules of their game, so Illumi had to stop him in a peaceful way, and what better way to do so than stomping on his supposed feelings?

It wasn’t like Illumi could have truly offended him anyway. Hisoka was Hisoka. Illumi knew Hisoka’s sudden surges of sentimentalism were not serious, nor real. Hisoka was a whimsical person, like a child in a toy store. He would forget about the toy he was crying about as soon as he moved to the next aisle.

This time, though, he had really looked affected after Illumi kicked him out. Illumi took a shower to clear his mind from such useless thoughts.

After the shower, Illumi went back to the room and couldn’t help feeling nonsensically uncomfortable again.

The problem was the bed, he discovered. Its white empty sheets contrasted harshly in the dimly illuminated room, making it look like a stage under the spotlight, like a crime scene, like an accusation.

It was stupid. There was nothing to accuse Illumi of. Hisoka didn’t have real feelings to hurt. He was the embodiment of pretense and mischief; there was no room in him for other things.

And even in the strange case he did have feelings; Illumi was not responsible for them.

Hisoka knew the rules. He knew breaking their rules would lead to the breaking of their agreement altogether. Illumi thought he had actually been extremely practical. He had managed to bring the situation back to normal, so their arrangement wouldn’t have to be cancelled. It took some more melodrama than he’d have wanted, but it had served its purpose, and now they both were in peaceful terms. Well, at least on his part. If Hisoka had felt too offended, he would simply have to get over it. When he was done whining, he would call again, that was certain. Until then, Illumi would leave him alone.

 

 

By the time he got to the port there was already a crowd forming, even though the ship was not supposed to leave until hours later in the afternoon. He messaged Kalluto. He answered soon enough.

**< I’ve been monitoring the area since yesterday. Our brother’s not here.**

_Unless he managed to board the ship somehow_ , Illumi thought. It was a horrible thought. Even with the power of It, the trip would be dangerous. If Killua still had some common sense in him, he would remain on land. Then again, Killua was in a rebellious phase without precedents in the family. The chance was still there. There wasn’t a thing as ‘too cautious’.

He observed the surroundings and wondered if he should check everything, both the ship and the port. He decided to leave the boat alone. Even if somehow he had already boarded it, Kalluto would follow later. He should be able to deal with a situation like that.

Before he could start a search of the surroundings of his own, his phone got another text.

**< Danchou wants to talk to you.**

Illumi could feel one of his eyes twitch at the term. He didn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, it was good to know Kalluto remained professional and called his new boss that. On the other hand, he had heard the term from Hisoka’s lips so many times he had managed to poison it. Why couldn’t he just say ‘my employer’, or refer to Chrollo by his last name? He had to have one. Everyone had to have one.

The phone started vibrating on his hand. Chrollo was calling. Illumi groaned to himself before picking up.

“Is he here?”

Illumi deadpanned into another dimension. From all the things Chrollo could have said to start the conversation, he had to ask about Hisoka.

“I doubt it,” Illumi managed to answer with no inflections in his voice, “unless he managed to find on his own…” he paused, wondered if he should tell him he had seen him not long ago, that he seemed clueless, that he was probably sulking somewhere at the moment, and then decided not to. “But I doubt it.”

Thankfully, Chrollo didn’t inquire more. Instead, he gave him directions to where his group was waiting. Illumi found this infinitely unnecessary. He wanted to see Kalluto, not the whole gang. Still, he figured the invitation could mean only two things. One, it was a sign of trust, so refusing to go there would affect both his and Kalluto’s trustworthiness. Two, it was a sign of distrust, meaning Chrollo already distrusted him and/or Kalluto, so not going was, still, unacceptable.

_Annoying, infinitely annoying_.

Illumi followed the directions to an old warehouse. He wasn’t sure if it was the almost inexistent lighting or the tough appearance of his company, but Illumi’s first impression of Kalluto was that he had grown up. His hair was just as short, his face was just as small, but there was something in him that seemed more mature. He didn’t have time to dwell on this, though, because before he could step into the warehouse, Chrollo was moving forward to meet him.

As usual, Illumi was surprised to notice how good Chrollo looked. And this time he wasn’t even trying. Chrollo was dressing like a normal citizen, hair down and all, and still looked like a celebrity, caught in the middle of grocery shopping by paparazzi. For a second, Illumi wondered how he should look in comparison. Not that it mattered. Not at all. They were different kinds of people. Chrollo had charisma, and Illumi had practicality. Illumi had no need to look agreeable or friendly, or nice, or like he hadn’t just risen from the grave. But he wondered, and for that second, he felt incredibly old.

Chrollo was all politeness and bright smiles and Illumi couldn’t bring himself to be blunt and tell him he was there only to meet Kalluto. He didn’t need him to walk him to his side. Kalluto was short but not so short a normal person wouldn’t be able to spot him.

Chrollo walked him to where Kalluto waited, next to another person just as short and another as tall as the two together. _Annoying_. He didn’t want to discuss family matters next to strangers. Kalluto seemed to feel the same way. He was clearly nervous, or well, clearly enough for him.

They bowed their heads lightly at each other, and Illumi turned back to Chrollo.

“Can I steal him from you for a bit?”

Chrollo smiled at the choice of words.

“Sure, we’ll be over there,” he said as he signaled the other men to follow him.

Once they had some space, Kalluto finally spoke.

“How’s mom?”

Illumi blinked at the question. He supposed they would start talking about Killua right away, but he guessed this was also a valid question.

“Uh, I haven’t talked to her in a while, but I guess she should be fine. A little more neurotic than usual, but fine.”

Kalluto looked to the floor. “I see…”

“She misses you, you know that, don’t you?” he said, not really because she had said so, but because he wanted to see what reaction it would bring.

His brother raised his gaze and dropped it again. “I know…”

He looked worried, but not guilty. It was not his mother’s absence that was disturbing Kalluto.

“Are you nervous about the trip?” Illumi asked.

Kalluto slightly pursed his lips. He was. That was a good thing. It meant Kalluto still had some sense of self-preservation and was not joining any mission just for the sake of adventure, like other brother of his.

“I have to go,” Kalluto answered.

“You can always quit if you want,” Illumi remembered him casually.

Kalluto stared at the rest of the Troupe, deep in thought.

“I want to go,” he said finally.

When he said this, Illumi could felt the seriousness he had sensed in him when he got to the warehouse. It was an unfortunate decision, since he would be gone for a long time, but it seemed Kalluto had his reasons.

“Are you learning?” Illumi asked him, and Kalluto turned to face him. His eyes were gleaming, and he had a tiny wicked smile.

“I am,” he answered, “they are very strong.”

Illumi sighed. It was clear as water; Kalluto was excited and decided, so there was no turning back from this mission for him.

He let a hand fall heavily on Kalluto’s head, kind of his version of a tender patting. “In that case, I wish you good luck.”

Kalluto gave him a different smile, the one he wore each time someone in his family praised him.

“Thank you, aniki.”

And then Illumi leant down. “Be careful on that ship though. You never know if you might encounter some familiar faces,” he whispered to him, because even though they were apart from the rest, it didn’t mean they weren’t listening.

“I will,” Kalluto promised with an even stronger seriousness than before.

Kalluto was growing up. It seemed like only yesterday when he followed whoever was taking care of him with a hand clutching their clothes. Now he was going alone on a trip to unknown lands, or well, not with family.

They walked in silence to the big metal doors. Illumi felt more tired with each step as the realization that his brothers were growing up settled in.

“Ah, wait,” Illumi said as he knelt down in front of his brother, “you have something on your face.”

Illumi wetted his thumb with his tongue and tried to rub Kalluto’s cheek. There was nothing on it, but that was a gesture their mother used to do a lot when Kalluto was younger and a beginner with makeup. It was also a gesture that bothered his brother to no end.

This time was no exception. Kalluto jolted like a frightened cat and quickly ran from his side to escape the motherly act.

“G-goodbye aniki!!” he said trying to sound unaffected, as if Illumi hadn’t embarrassed him in front of all his new colleagues, and he wasn’t blushing like the sakura flowers on his kimono.

Illumi simply waved bye, content now to see his brother was indeed maturing, but still acted his age.

Before he could leave the place, however, Chrollo met him one last time.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of him,” he said, and Illumi could feel his blood start to boil. Chrollo better kept his cute mouth shut. Kalluto was a Zoldyck; he needed no care from him and his mock of a family.

He didn’t need to think of a response for that, because Chrollo kept talking.

“Also, thank you for not saying anything to him.”

This time Illumi felt one his eyes pulse. He hoped it was just the sensation and his eyelids hadn’t really twitched.

“I had no reason to,” he started, and then, in a mixture of tiredness and spite, his mouth continued without his brain’s consent, “I wonder why you don’t just fight him though.”

Chrollo blinked twice, and then turned his gaze to his underlings, who were now teasing/defending Kalluto. “Sometimes I wonder too.”

It was exasperating. Chrollo had no idea how impossible Hisoka had been the first weeks after he cancelled their fight. If Chrollo really wondered about it, it meant he was still considering it. What was the point of it all if he was still considering it?!

“You could win, you know?” Illumi continued without caring if the rest was listening, “Even on a one on one fight, you could still win.”

Chrollo hummed softly.

“Why don’t _you_ fight him?” he asked, and then turned to him with a smirk. “Even on a one on one fight, with a good plan, you could still win.”

Illumi’s lips parted, but not even air came out of them. Had he just mocked him? Had he just implied that Illumi wouldn’t win an impromptu fight with that clown?

“Don’t worry, I won’t hire you to kill him. I think if we leave him alone, he will manage to get himself killed on his own someday,” he said nonchalantly. “Anyway, thank you for not saying anything. We’re really looking forward to this trip. It would have been a shame if he had showed up and made up a fuss, could have cancelled the whole thing.”

Illumi just stared at him. Hisoka making a fuss _outside_ of the ship was actually the best scenario if he showed up. A man like him shouldn’t be underestimated. A scenario where you’re trapped with the enemy on a boat in the middle of the ocean shouldn’t be underestimated.

He wondered if Chrollo was just that prepared for any possible scenario or if he was one of those people that acted on impulse and improvisation. Whatever the answer, it irritated him even more.

After a solemn nod to him and a last look at Kalluto, Illumi finally left their hideout.

 

More people were on the streets by the time Illumi left, enough to make it more difficult to walk. He tried not to think of Chrollo’s words, of Kalluto’s words, of his looks, of how comfortable he seemed with his new teammates.

He tried not to think of these things, not to let them get to his head. And he thought he was managing to, yet still, when someone bumped into him, Illumi’s blood finally reached boiling point.

In one quick, clean move, Illumi turned to the stranger that had wronged him, and twisted his neck.

He only realized he had done this when another person started screaming.

“Ah, fuck” he said, as if he had just carelessly let a cup fall to the floor.

More people joined the screams, and Illumi fled the place.

He no longer wanted to search the surroundings. He didn’t want to keep checking on empty places. He was tired, and sleepy, with no real profits from his quest, and he just wished he had someone else to tell him what to do now. Not as in orders, he just wanted someone to help him see where he was failing, and how he could fix that. He wanted someone to assure him things would get better. He wanted someone to tell him it was fine to take a break now.

He wanted to bury himself in the ground and sleep for an entire week. He probably would if he actually buried himself.

Illumi remembered the incident from moments ago and realized he was acting careless. Careless was not good. Maybe he _should_ sleep. Not underground, for the aforementioned reasons. No, he should probably find a good enough hotel and ask for a wake-up call, so he didn’t accidentally sleep for more than a day.

There was no need to search the place. Killua was not there. Killua was not anywhere.

He wanted to forget for a second the reality that he still couldn’t find him anywhere.

So he found a place, and told the receptionist to call his room at 8 am the next day. He reconsidered. 8 pm would be better. He locked himself in, and fell asleep as soon as he put his head on the pillow.

 

 

 

A sound woke him up, but it was not the monotone ring of the table phone. It was the music of his ringtone.

Drowsily, Illumi reached for his phone to see who it was.

_The butlers at home_. Illumi rejected the call and buried his face on the pillows again.

The phone kept ringing. Impulsively, Illumi took it and rejected the call again. He was more awake now, so after he did this, he realized he actually had plenty of missed calls. All from the butlers, none from his relatives.

He sat up on the bed and called back the number. Tsubone’s voice answered.

“Master Illumi, you finally answered!”

“What happened?”

“The baby! Someone broke into the manor to get to the baby.”

Illumi squinted, trying to figure out what baby they were talking about, or if maybe he had misheard.

There was the sound of shuffling on the other side of the line, and then a younger voice replaced Tsubone’s.

“It was the man that killed Gotoh,” the new voice said in a grave tone.

He still was too dazed to relate that to the baby part, but the mention of Gotoh helped him understand who they were talking about.

“What did that man do?”

“He broke into our residence. He was looking for the baby you brought us to be raised as butler.”

Illumi’s breath hitched. Hisoka had trespassed into his home. That was a boundary much more important than the rules from their stupid extracurricular agreement.

“Is he still there?”

“No. He- He just- It was like he was just looking for the baby? He came into the residence and didn’t stop until he found her, but…”

“But?”

“Then he just left,” the girl answered. “He found Aiko, stood in her room for a while, and then just left. What do we do? Master Illumi? What should we do?”

Illumi had to control himself not to crush the phone in his hand.


	8. five working days

Illumi entered the crime scene –the baby’s room– and assessed the situation.

Hisoka had entered Aiko’s room, grabbed some items, and escaped. The baby was unharmed. There were no notes or traces of leftover nen in the room. If Hisoka had left any message, it was meant to be deduced.

According to the butlers, the only items missing were a hairbrush, a pacifier, and a blanket.

You didn’t have to be a genius to notice the common factor there.

Illumi stood by the crib. She chuckled, as if amused by the chaos around her, her crib the eye of the storm. Illumi wasn't amused. Her joy reminded him of how Hisoka must be laughing at him at that moment.

“What are you laughing at?”

The baby just kept smiling, eyes fixed on Illumi, fearless.

“You’re his accomplice, aren’t you?”

Of course, the baby couldn’t answer that.

Illumi went over his theories so far. One: Hisoka had had a mental breakdown and was finally declaring war on him. Two: Hisoka was not necessarily declaring war, but he was trying to create the tension needed to push Illumi into that. Three: Hisoka had some entire different motive, something obscure that involved Aiko but not necessarily Illumi.

He was not sure which option was worse. The first two would lead to a real fight, a death match, something he had been managing to avoid for years now. The third one was too vague, its repercussions too uncertain.

Whatever the case, it was also impossible to deny that the only reason the invasion happened was because Aiko was there.

Illumi picked her up.

It would be so easy to kill her. There were thousands of ways in which he could accomplish that. Still, he needed to know Aiko’s true relation to Hisoka to know if her death would really hurt him. Or how cruel he would have to be in order to hurt him the most.

If he decided to kill her, that was.

Aiko tried to pull Illumi’s needles with her lame baby arms. Her eyes were as golden as the needles. Her eyes were as golden as…

Illumi let his mind wander back to a thought he had had, and discarded, a long time ago, the first time he saw her.

_What if this baby is really his?_

Illumi readjusted her in his arms and examined her face thoroughly. It was no use. She was still too young to show any resemblance to her potential father. He considered the possibility of making a DNA test, then abandoned it due to the difficulty of the task… and also because of just how ridiculous he felt even thinking about it. What was this? Some afternoon soap opera?

Anyway, it didn’t matter. His or not, Hisoka had cursed the girl the moment he set foot in his family’s property. Now she was in the middle of their battle field and Illumi wouldn’t hold back just because she was an infant.

Still, that didn’t mean he had to kill her immediately. It was actually unadvisable, considering how nothing was clear yet.

Illumi produced a needle, a special one. It looked like a hair, long and thing, but it was firm and sharp. He only used that kind of needle on very special occasions and, to be honest, this didn’t qualify as one, but he decided to use it anyway. Life could be unpredictable sometimes, so it was better to be prepared to every possibility…

Besides, he was feeling extremely petty after being betrayed by the only person allowed in his bed. Also, the possibility that this very same person could have also lied about Aiko didn’t make his mood any better.

Illumi positioned the needle right in the middle of Aiko’s forehead.

“May you always be on my side,” he whispered before pushing the needle in.

 

After it was done, he put the baby back in her bed and grabbed his phone. It was time to hear what Hisoka had to say, as he had not bothered to call or text in all that time.

He waited, not nervous but tense, for the other one to pick up the call.

The dial noise went on and on… Till it was cut off by the voice mail system.

_Strange._

He tried again.

No one picked up.

Illumi decided not to text him. He wanted to hear his voice. He wanted every single clue that might lead him to what Hisoka was up to.

 

He left the butler’s residence to head back home, checking his phone screen from time to time, just in case.

It was really strange, yet calming. If Hisoka wasn’t answering maybe he wasn’t in a rush to fight. Maybe it really was the third option and he was busy with something else. Maybe he had joined a cult; maybe he was using Aiko’s belongings for some kind of ritual at that very moment.

Or maybe he was using them for something more realistic, like finding out something about her.

Maybe it was him running a DNA test.

Illumi imagined Hisoka at a hospital, sitting rigidly on a plastic chair, waiting for his turn to ask a doctor if he was a father.

For the first time in a long time, he breathed out a laugh. _As if_ , he thought, and continued to think of more possible scenarios.

 

 

 

Hisoka sat in the middle of the row of plastic chairs with his back perfectly straight and his hands clutched together over his knee. He was not really looking at the TV in front of him, but rather at some dead point beside it because he didn’t want to miss the nurse calling his name because of being distracted.

He wanted to believe he wasn’t nervous, but that was too big a lie, even for himself.  The plastic bag in which he had casually stored Aiko’s belongings was on his lap and, even though it wasn’t really heavy, it felt like a bag of rocks to him.

Finally, it was his turn. He placed the objects on the doctor’s desk and told him what he wanted.

“I need a paternity test.”

Saying it out loud felt like someone had tied the bag of rocks to his feet and then threw him into a river.

“Do you have permission from the legal guardians of the child?” the doctor calmly asked. “If you don’t, you won’t be able to use these results for any kind of legal procedure.”

“Excuse me?” Hisoka asked, not sure he understood what was just explained to him.

“We can run this test for you, but if you don’t have the legal guardian’s permission, the results will have no legal value and you won’t be able to use them at a custody trial, for example.”

Hisoka gaped at the mention of a _custody trial_. He was not interested in going on trial against Illumi, or Aiko’s absent mother, or both. He was most definitely not.

“I just want to know the truth,” he said with a voice that didn’t sound entirely like him.

Hisoka was glad that he didn’t have to go to another room and that the test only required for a bit of saliva taken with a cotton swab. He left soon after, a bit relieved that at least that part was over, but troubled because he still had to wait for the results. The clinic could take up to a whole week -5 working days- before handing in the results. He was a patient man but a whole week was abusing his patience. And also Illumi's patience, because he didn't plan on contacting him until he had gotten his answer.

 _Illumi must be pissed. Good,_ he thought, still a bit not over their last argument.

Hisoka had known that by trespassing into Illumi’s home he was breaking an important boundary, but it wasn’t like he could trust Illumi to hand over Aiko peacefully had he told him what he wanted to do. Also, he didn’t really want Aiko permanently. He just wanted to know if she was his. Nothing had to change. There was no need for custody trials, or visits, or anything, but he doubted Illumi would understand that. He also doubted Illumi would do anything to her until he knew for certain what was going on, so he didn’t regret his course of action, as aggressive as it had been.

The hours passed and with them Hisoka’s nervousness. His mind was cool and clear now. Even though he had gotten quite a shock at that club when he discovered Jinsil was a real woman he had slept with, he was much more confident now that the results would be negative.

Hisoka remembered the moment he had gone to Aiko’s crib. He had felt nothing. Would a real father see his child and feel nothing? No. Or well, he thought so. He wasn’t friends with anyone with children to verify this, but if there was something he had learnt from movies and TV shows was that parents always, _always_ , had some kind of magical moment when reunited with their lost children. Hisoka had felt nothing but the rush of adrenaline that came from knowing he had trespassed into Zoldyck territory. He still felt a little proud of how he could fool the entire body of butlers.

But Illumi probably wasn't amused. He decided to be safe and just block Illumi’s number until he got the results. There was no rational excuse to what he had done and Illumi was not stupid. If he found out what he was doing, he would get even angrier. If he got really angry, he might hurt Aiko. Hisoka didn’t want to risk that, not because he planned to get her back later if she was his, but kind of out of courtesy. Even if they ended up fighting later and Illumi died, Aiko could still get to live as a butler for the rest of the family. She could still have a relatively quiet life and, after all the little critter had gone through, it was only fair.

 

 

 

The next couple of days were of constant stress for the butlers of the Zoldyck Manor. Even though not everyone was that into babies, they all agreed they didn’t want something happening to their Aiko, so when Illumi asked them to be alert for another possible invasion, they obeyed without hesitation. They were also asked not to tell any other Zoldyck what was happening, which was, somehow, even more stressful than waiting for the weird redhead from the other day to appear.

But the redhead didn’t show up. Not the first day, not the second. The servants were on edge. They suggested moving the baby to the mansion in an attempt to minimize risks and getting some tension off their shoulders. Illumi’s glare was enough to make them understand that was not happening.

By the third day, their master stopped roaming the nearby area, but they were still supposed to keep both eyes open for intruders.

The fourth day, the butlers allowed themselves to relax.

The fifth day, Illumi also seemed to allow himself to relax, as he didn’t do any of his usual rounds and stayed up at his home deep in the mountain.

It had been a little over a week and there were still no new incidents. Illumi continued to keep tabs on any unusual activity by phone, but that was it. The butlers took it as a sign that the threat was over. Most resumed their normal tasks completely, leaving the surveillance to the ones who were off for the day in the residence.

Slowly, the lively mood that was once common in the residence started to come back. Whoever that guy was, they didn’t expect to see him again.

Their prediction was right, but not in a totally fortunate way.

That morning, the butlers woke up to an empty crib.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is short for my standards but i just want to keep going the most i can before my body finally collapses now that apparently i made myself sick
> 
> anyway, thank u all for your patience and comments and kudos and i love u all


	9. All roads lead to Rome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil update. thank you for reading... haaaaaah, i miss you all so much...
> 
> edit: ALSO [LOOK AT THIS ART BY GARLICSUNSHINE](https://garlicsunshine.tumblr.com/post/172219423239/such-a-solid-description-chapter-6-of-sayokos)!! Thank you so much!!

It wasn’t particularly difficult to guess who the invader had been. There was only one person with the skill and motives. For this reason, Illumi didn’t immediately follow after Hisoka, but went to his brother’s room instead.

A bag of chips flew in the air as Illumi irrupted into Milluki’s room. The younger brother stuttered and fidgeted and tried to change whatever it was he was watching but Illumi couldn’t care less what it was. He approached him with fast steps and held his cellphone right to his face.

“This number, track it.”

Milluki remained half-shocked in his seat for a second, looked at the phone, looked at Illumi as if considering asking why, then realized it was better not to question him at that exact moment and turned back to his computer.

“J-just a sec.”

It took a moment, but when Illumi saw the little red dot appear in the map on the big screen above them he instantly felt better. Even if Hisoka had managed to get in and out the property unnoticed, it was all futile if Illumi could still see his position.

“Huuuh,” Milluki started, “so… Who are we tracking?”

Just as he was speaking, the screen of Illumi’s phone lit up announcing an incoming call. Both brothers stared at it instantly, and both brothers kept quiet once they saw who the caller was.

“Mom is calling,” Milluki announced, as if Illumi couldn’t damn read.

Illumi calmly grabbed the phone, cancelled the call, and put it back down.

“Eh? Aren’t you going to call back?”

Illumi said nothing. He pretty much could guess why his mother had remembered his existence right at that particularly inconvenient moment.

“Hide that map,” he ordered.

“EH? Why?? What’s going-”

“I’ll pay you twice as usual,” Illumi cut him short.

Milluki silently agreed.

And just as he suspected, not long after Milluki had changed screens, they heard the sound of their mother’s heels approaching ominously fast.

“MILLUKI!” she screamed, “WE NEED TO FIND YOUR-”

The shriek of her voice was also cut short when she got to the still open door and noticed the one she was looking for was also in the room.

“Illumi”, she said then.

“Mother,” Illumi answered.

“What’s going on?” Milluki asked as he looked at them intermittently.

“I’m glad I found you,” Kikyo said as she entered the room, her voice unnervingly cool, “I was just informed of some terrible news.”

“Oh?”

“That _kid_ ,” she said with disgust, “the one in the servant’s care… It has been kidnapped.”

Illumi wondered who the snitch had been. Probably Tsubone, that old woman had a tendency to get in other people’s business.

Next to him, Milluki finally seemed to understand the situation. He planted his eyes on him, painfully obvious, but Illumi didn’t acknowledge him.

“Ah! Yes, the servant that was taken away,” he simply said. “I’m aware of it.”

“So,” Kikyo said, grasping her fan really tight, “aren’t you going to catch the thief? You know, that kid is worth nothing, but what that other person did… Stealing from us, that is unforgivable.”

“Yes, we’re working on that.”

“Ooh?” she cooed and turned to her other son, “is that so?”

Not willing to give Milluki a chance to speak, Illumi immediately turned towards him and leaned close to his face.

“Milluki, why don’t you show our mother what we found?”

Milluki’s hands hovered nervously over the keyboard, hesitant due to the obviously tense atmosphere between the other two. Illumi leaned a bit closer.

“ _Ten times your rate_ ,” he said in a whisper so faint Milluki almost didn’t hear.

Milluki gave Illumi a nervous side-glance, well aware of what his brother was asking for, and the awful thing he was about to do.

“We haven’t found much on the culprit yet, mama,” Milluki said as he started typing and browsing through random maps from old missions, “but this is where we think they might be hiding now”.

It felt like an eternity, but eventually, Kikyo accepted her sons’ story about some kind of vendetta not against them but the previous “owners” of the girl, and left. Still, even with her not physically present in the room, Illumi could not relax. His brain insisted on imagining what would have happened if Milluki had slipped, if he had said Illumi had the number of the culprit right there, if he had been asked to explain who the man was.

The mere thought of it made his blood run cold.

It was not something he wanted to do, ever.

“Where is he now?” he asked Milluki.

Milluki showed him the real map. The red dot was obviously going to the airport.

“Aniki, if you’re in trouble, I recently got this really cool drone that can fly really fast and-”

“No,” Illumi said firmly. “Just help me figure out where he is going. I have to deal with him myself.”

 

 

 

 

The baby was crying, and it obviously affected the people around them.

Normally, Hisoka wouldn’t really care about that, but now that his top priority was keeping a low profile, the noise certainly wasn’t helping.

He was on edge. He never thought he would be able to flee Illumi’s house so easily, much less that he would be able to board a blimp without trouble. The absence of Illumi that morning had been as much as a relief as it was a concern; and even though they were already in midair, Hisoka still felt as if the assassin could appear out of a corner at any second.

The truth was; Hisoka had not made a proper plan for the girl’s rescue, and now the uncertainty of what would happen made him deeply regret it.

“Sir, do you need some help?”

The flight attendant that approached them was probably just sent to make sure the baby shut up, but even so, Hisoka felt blessed.

“Yes-please-she-won’t-stop-crying,” he immediately informed as he tried to hand the baby to her. But the attendant blocked his attempt by ignoring the gesture and taking a step back.

“Is she sick?” she asked.

“Ah, I don’t think so”, Hisoka answered as he went back to rocking her, though it didn’t seem to sort any effect.

“Then maybe she’s hungry?”

Hisoka wondered. It hadn’t been that long since the kidnap. Then again, babies were strange, and Aiko was especially rounder than the last time he had seen her.

“Yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“…Do you have any food?” the lady asked.

Pleadingly, Hisoka shook his head.

“How old is she?”

Hisoka shook his head faster.

Tiredly, the lady sighed.

“I will see if we have something you can use,” she said before leaving.

The attendant was an angel, Hisoka decided. An unwilling one that probably wouldn’t ever come back, but still- Compared to Illumi’s family, anyone was like an angel.

He wished he could just give the baby to her and jump off the blimp.

But of course, that was simply unrealistic. The lady would never agree to that nor could he really trust her. What he had to do now was: get down at the next stop, take the train, take a bus, and finally walk to the nun’s orphanage where he was going to drop Aiko - for good. The place was far away and, according to its webpage, it was safe enough. Or at least safer than the streets… or with the Zoldyck’s.

“Please shut up,” he said to the inconsolable baby. “This is the last time we do this. Trust me.”

Hisoka watched through a window as the ominous shape of Kukuroo mountain got farther and farther away.

“Shhhh... You’ll thank me one day.”

 

In the end, Aiko cried herself to sleep. It had not been a pleasant experience, but at least it was over. The blimp landed. Now he had 20 minutes to get to the train station, so the next step was to find a taxi that could get him there in much less.

Most passengers either walked or rushed from the apron to the entrance to the main building of the airport. Hisoka, however, paused before it.

Maybe the rest didn’t even notice, but all of the people descending from the blimp avoided the long-haired man standing right in the middle of the entrance. It was only natural; the aura emanating from him was controlled, but definitely hostile.

Both men stood there in silence, staring at each other as people continued to walk around them.

Finally, Hisoka swallowed and gathered the courage to speak.

He wanted to say something clever, something articulate that would help his situation; still, what came out of his mouth was not exactly helpful, neither was the way his lips twisted in a lop-sided grin.

“Ara ara! Illumi, my friend, what are you doing in a place like this?”

Illumi’s face was stiff.

He had to be very, very pissed.

After another short moment of silence, Illumi answered. “Tell me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you both right here, right now.”

Hisoka’s involuntary smile magically disappeared.

Illumi wasn’t joking, and he wasn’t threatening Hisoka alone.

“There’s no gain for you,” Hisoka replied, trying to sound as cool as possible.

“No gain? Hmm… That could be up to debate.”

Hisoka put a hand over the back of the baby, who was still sleeping soundly.

It was infinitely annoying.

He had dreamed of a situation like this a million times, but never, not in a single one of those dreams, had he ever foreseen a third party getting in the way.

If only Illumi had appeared after he had left Aiko at the nun's, it would have been perfect. Now, he just would have to find a way to postpone it.

“Illumi, I know you may be angry, but I can explain.”

“What is there to explain?”

Hisoka went quiet. Illumi acted like he was not willing to give him a chance to speak, but the fact that he hadn’t attacked them already was proof of the opposite. He was not sure what to do.

“Why won’t you just say it already?” Illumi suddenly asked.

Hisoka stared at him in confusion. _Say what?_

“Why won’t you tell me the truth?” Illumi continued. “You always knew, didn’t you? You have been laughing at me all along.”

Hisoka was not entirely sure what Illumi meant with that, but he knew he had to put out the fire slowly building in him. Escaping with Aiko as they were was a dangerous thing to try. Babies were so, so incredibly fragile.

“I have never laughed at you.”

“Liar.”

“I’m not. Well, I might be, but I’m not lying about this," he said immediately.  "Illumi… Just let me pass. We can solve this later but right now I really have to go.”

Illumi’s brows went up and high as if Hisoka had said something really offensive that he just couldn’t believe, so Hisoka figured he had to continue talking until he fixed whatever that was.

“If it’s retribution you’re after, I’ll pay. Just name a price and I’ll pay, but first let us pass.”

The mention of money seemed to do the trick. Illumi’s posture shifted and he eyed Hisoka like a wary cat; hesitating, studying, analysing.

“You went into the Manor,” Illumi accused.

Hisoka huffed. “I barely got past your front yard. But if that was so offensive to you, then just say how much and I’ll give it to you.”

“…You stole from me. From us.”

Hisoka’s stare narrowed into a glare. “I already said I’m paying you back. There is no offense if I’m paying it back, is it?”

Both men continued staring at each other. The apron was empty except for the three of them.

 

 

Illumi examined the two people in front of him and the situation as fast as he could, but it was useless. Hisoka had turned the table and now the chain of events Illumi had predicted was no longer possible.

He had appeared there to fight Hisoka. He had gone there to punish him for the act of treason he had just pulled and, inevitably, kill him in the process.

But he had not counted on Hisoka refusing the invitation. He had not counted on him completely ignoring it, acting like a serious person for once in his life, and giving him no excuses to act unprofessionally and set his rage free.

“So?” Hisoka pushed.

Illumi tightened his fists. Somehow, it felt like Hisoka was laughing at him one last time.

But even if it was like that, he shouldn't care.

They were nothing but two people who sometimes happened to work together, and Aiko was nothing but a lost asset that Hisoka was willing to pay back.

It would make no sense to fight now. Just more losses than gains.

“…I will send you an invoice later this afternoon.”

Hisoka nodded solemnly and started to walk away.

“But Hisoka,” Illumi heard himself say as Hisoka was right beside him, “after you cross those doors, I don’t want you to ever contact me again. I don’t want you to get even one inch close to the Manor. If you ever do, I will have you killed. This is not a threat, it’s a promise.”

Hisoka stood still for a second, both men looking in opposite directions.

“I see,” he said. “Then, I guess this is our farewell.”

Hisoka’s voice was so serene yet serious that Illumi widened his eyes in disbelief, but refused to look to his side.

So he did not see Hisoka turning away. He did not see his face as he said some last few words.

“Goodbye, Illumi.”

The assassin didn’t move, didn’t breath, waiting for the inevitable sudden attack that Hisoka obviously was going to try on him. Because this couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have just heard Hisoka bid him farewell. The trickster couldn’t just have accepted something like that so easily.

But the seconds passed, and nothing happened.

A new blimp landed nearby and more people came out of it. They went on their way without minding him, and shortly left him alone in the apron again.

Then, Illumi turned around.

There were no traces of Hisoka inside the building. Not a single lavender silhouette, not a single moving blur of fiery orange.

He was alone, truly.

And when he came to this realization, suddenly, for the first time in years, Illumi did not feel old, but very, very young.

He suddenly felt like the first time he was dropped at Heaven’s Arena, completely clueless in a foreign city, yet still completely alone because he was expected to know what to do and how to survive, even though he still couldn’t reach the counter of the reception desk.

The city's airport was relatively small. Illumi had been to plenty of others which were far bigger. And still, he stared at the hall behind the glass doors and felt that if he was not careful, he could get lost in there.

So he shook his head, and took a long deep breath.

He was not six. And he was not stranded there, and he was not looking at the back of the butler’s car as it drove away.

He was an adult, and the person who had walked away was nothing but just a former ally.

If Hisoka had been stupid enough to break an alliance as theirs, it was not his problem. Actually, it was the best news. Hisoka was a foolish man, and foolish men were not worth keeping at one’s side.

Who cared about the reasons that had leaded him to act that way? He had walked away, and now they wouldn’t cross paths again.

Or maybe they would, because Hisoka was a liar, but that didn’t matter anymore either.

Illumi walked to the corner of the apron where he had left his stolen airship, thinking of all the possible things that could happen now.

And he thought of who he would send for his head if he ever invaded his home again. And he thought of not sending others, but going himself. And he thought about crossing the doors as well and going outside, and looking for him, and forcing the explanation that he deserved from his stupid mocking lips.

But in the end he just went inside and set course back to Padokea.

Whatever happened, he would deal with later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Aniki," Milluki said between munches, "you never told me," more munching, "what happened that time with the baby butler."

Illumi hummed. It had been over two months since that incident, and nothing really had happened after it. Illumi continued his normal life. His routine was almost the same as ever, and for this reason he had gone to his brother's room once more - calmly this time - to ask him to research a target.

"Nothing happened..."

"Yeah but," Milluki paused to finish eating the last of his nacho cheese Doritoz, "did you like, get the guy who did it?"

He took a moment before answering, unsure of how much it was advisable to trust him.

"We got to an agreement... He won't bother us anymore."

"But what happened to the baby?"

Illumi took another pause to ponder on the question.

"She must be dead by now."

 

By night, his task was over. Illumi stood on top of the building where his now dead target lay on the floor. It was past working hours, so unless the night guard decided to take a look inside the office, no one would notice the person's quietness until morning.

He was free, the night was young, and even though it was freezing cold outside, Illumi didn't feel like going back just yet.

He wandered around for a while and settled for an almost empty pub with wide windows. He sat down with a glass of scotch and watched the people come and go - plentyof despite the weather.

He thought about Killua, and where he might be, and what things he would be doing with It at that moment. Probably something extremely childish. He hoped he was doing well, anyway.

He got a second drink.

Then there was Kalluto, on board of a ship towards who knew where, coming back who knew when.

While it was true that he was not the family's heir, Illumi wondered if letting him go so easily was the best decision.

He hoped that, at least, when he came back, he would be a fully-formed assassin.

If he ever came back.

Illumi finished the second and got a third drink.

Then there was Milluki. 

...

Illumi got a fourth drink.

By that time, a soft layer of snow was starting to fall. Illumi wondered about Hisoka.

Illumi's brows twitched when he realized he was thinking about Hisoka.

It was probably all Milluki's fault, for bringing up the topic earlier that day.

Anyway, now that the issue was on the table, he couldn't just leave it aside.

Illumi wondered about Hisoka. He wondered about Milluki's question, and if his answer had been accurate.

He took out his phone.

Even though there hadn't been a single exchange of calls or messages during all that time, Illumi had not deleted his number. It still rested there, between the top 5 of his "Favorite contacts" (which Illumi didn't know why they were called that, as they should just be called "Contacts you contact a lot").

His thumb ghosted over the green phone icon for a second, but never landed.

What would he say? He was not entirely sure.

It was bothersome.

Hisoka should have already contacted him by now. The fact that he didn't and was putting Illumi in such an awkward situation was simply disrespectful.

Of course, Illumi had threatened him with death - he remembered that. But then again, Hisoka was not someone to chicken out so easily. He should have called to apologize.

Maybe he had lost his number. Maybe he was away again on some stupid quest. Maybe he was dead. 

Whatever the case, it was clear Illumi would have to give him a little push to get his well-deserved apology.

So he pressed the message icon instead, and typed a hello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to [ly-chan](https://twitter.com/_LaLychan)! it was supposed to be for her bday but i failed :'D anyway, she's a cool artist so check her out!


	10. After the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;u; ghhhhhhhhhhh i wanted to have this ready for my bday but... *lemon-sucking face* life.........  
> anyway, as a gift for me, let's pretend this is good enough and just continue :'D because besides currently living in a mordern live-action adaptation of The Trial/Crime and Punishment, i've had writer's block for :'''D so long......
> 
> so yeah... *strums guitar* here's wonderwall

Are you alive? >

Illumi stared at his message. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with it, but it was all he could come up with at the moment and it was better than a plain “hey”.

After some minutes, the reply came.

< Oh? And this? I thought you weren’t talking to me.

Illumi groaned internally at the screen. That did not sound like an apology, nor like it would lead to one.

Still, three dots appeared again next to the contact name, signaling the other was writing.

< How have you been?

That was better. Illumi typed back immediately.

Can’t complain. You? >  
< Great <3

And… he was stuck again.

Hisoka was not supposed to be “great”. He was supposed to say how regretful he felt and apologize.

Then again, it was Hisoka. Someone as simple as him would always be doing “great”. It was annoying, but at the same time Illumi found some comfort in how predictable the magician could be in certain aspects.

Then, thankfully, the three dots next to the contact name appeared again.

< Hey, don’t get me wrong but  
< Didn’t you tell me not to talk to you ever again or…?

It was impossible to try figure out in what tone Hisoka was asking that, so Illumi decided to do the only reasonable thing and call him.

“Apologize”, he said as soon as the other picked up.

“Illumi?”

“Hisoka,” Illumi said back. “Apologize.”

“I- What?”

Illumi smiled and leaned back on his chair.

“I’m calling you to offer you a chance to apologize,” he explained. “Do it now and I’ll forgive you.”

There was a short pause from the other side.

“…And what is that I should apologize for?”

“About two months ago, you went into territory that we’d agreed you’d never set foot on without due permission,” Illumi reminded him matter-of-factly. “Then you stole from me and even though you paid back a fair fee for the stolen item-”

“Aiko is not an item,” Hisoka interrupted.

There was a short pause on Illumi’s side now. He was confused as to what did it matter if a person was counted as an item or not, but mostly-

“What do you mean ‘is’?”

“She’s not an item,” Hisoka said with more emphasis. “She can’t be sold or bought. What I offered you before-”

“She’s still alive?” Illumi interrupted now.

“Of course she’s still alive,” Hisoka answered, and somehow he sounded offended.

“Ah,” Illumi let out, surprised.

“What do you mean ‘ah’?”

“Ah,” Illumi said again, and then, without helping it, “I’m surprised. I thought she wouldn’t last a day in your care.”

The other side went silent.

“Ah! Unless you gave her up again,” Illumi reasoned. “Was that it?”

“Illumi,” Hisoka said, but Illumi continued talking.

“Haha, of course, that had to be it. There’s no way she’d survive otherwise. Who was the keeper this time, though? I don’t think there was a better place to raise her than back at home.”

“Illumi,” Hisoka repeated. Illumi kept going.

“Anyway, there’s no way I can take her back again after what you did. Not even after you apologize. It would be impossible to get her in without questions. Everyone would realize it’s her.”

“I won’t apologize,” Hisoka said once it seemed Illumi was finally done.

“…Excuse me?” he asked, convinced he had misheard.

“I won’t apologize,” Hisoka said again. “I have no reason to. If someone should be asking for forgiveness here, it’s you.”

“Me? Why would _I_ have to do that?”

“If you’re not willing to say sorry, I don’t want to talk to you.”

And after saying this, Hisoka hung up.

Illumi stared at the red screen of his phone in disbelief.

That was _not_ how their conversation was supposed to go, and it could not end like that. He immediately called back, only to hear that the number he had reached had been disconnected or was no longer in service.

After a few more failed attempts, he dialed other number.

It took a while, but that one did respond.

“Aniki?” said a rather sleepy voice.

“I need you to find someone.”

“Huh? Right now?”

“He blocked me, and if he still has some brain cells left he got rid of his phone too.”

“Uuugh,” Milluki groaned. “And you really need that _now_? Who are you tracking??”

Illumi bit his lip, suddenly realizing that these were not working hours for anyone in that side of the world and that if he wanted to justify the urgency of the call he would have to invent yet another troublesome lie.

“It’s ok,” he finally said. “It’s no one important so you can leave it for tomorrow; just make sure you find him.”

 

Once Illumi was back home and had plenty of time to rest and analyze things with a cooler mind (though why his call had failed the other night was still a mystery to him), he decided to change his petition a bit.

“I’m not killing this person right away, so please gather all the information you can from his current whereabouts.”

This time, the search did not go smoothly. A couple of days passed before Milluki could even get a vague location. Illumi tried calling again during that time, the unanswered calls only fuelling his anger.

Hisoka was not contrite, but it was only natural. He had no understanding of how the world worked, so Illumi would just have to push him into that state.

When Milluki finally could pinpoint a city, Illumi wondered if Hisoka truly had brain cells left or not. It was obvious why he was there. Illumi knew he was still participating in Heaven’s Arena even before his brother found him in the Arena’s registration.

But the baby could not be there. If Hisoka had just some little bit of common sense, he wouldn’t keep her in a place surrounded by enemies.

If that kid was still around, it was not at Heaven’s Arena.

“I need you to check what places he visits, specially institutions or housing properties,” he told Milluki.

Milluki grimaced, his tiredness making him bold enough to talk back.

“The places he visits? Really?? Can’t you just, go stalk him or something?”

Illumi considered it.

“I don’t want to,” he concluded.

Bold enough to talk back but not to defy, Milluki got to work again.

 

 

 

Hisoka tensed in the cold shower. Even though he had spent all morning working out, he still felt unsatisfied.

He had had no matches since becoming Master of his current floor.

Since the distribution of the floors was different the higher you got, the match rules were also different. Neither he nor the rest of the people in his zone were forced to have a match for at least two months. It was stupid, and Hisoka deeply suspected that the others had realized too and were using this stupidity to their lazy advantage.

Basically, the different rules were supposed to give fighters the time to train and heal between battles, so they were prepared enough to try their luck at the top tier at some point. What Hisoka saw, however, was a group of people who had been there for a long time, curiously having fights only when the rules forced them to. What was worse, they all seemed to know each other well, and even though not all their fights were ties, the fighters never ended as harmed as they could have, considering their level.

It was only reasonable to think that they had a secret agreement in order to live for free at the tower for as long as possible.

It was also only reasonable to assume that none of them would accept his challenges, and that maybe he would have to resort to nasty tricks to find someone to fight officially before his deadline.

But he hoped he wouldn’t have to, and that soon someone would honor the sport’s spirit of competition and actually challenge him first.

He really hoped for that. It would suck to wait so long and then have to face someone who wasn’t really into it; or worse, someone who would immediately surrender to save their own ass.

He turned on the TV for some background noise while he looked for something to put on. A little white light signaled that he had gotten a message, but he paid no mind to it. The only person who could possibly message him for something important now was the babysitter. Besides, had it been something urgent, she would have called, not texted.

By the time he checked his phone, he had one more message. To his surprise, they came from an unsaved number, though it looked somewhat familiar.

< I’m a bit disappointed in you. I expected more security than this.

The second one came with a picture, too. It made his blood run cold.

< Were these yogurts hers or yours? Anyway, she likes them.

To anyone else, the selfie Illumi had taken of him with Aiko sitting on his lap would have been pretty cute. The baby had an almost-full pot of strawberry yogurt dangerously resting on her lap and her face clearly indicated she had eaten some, or at least tried.

Illumi was still Illumi, but he had managed to find a good angle, looking up at the camera, and he even had a tiny smile on his face that could have totally misguided a poor soul that didn’t know the monster he really was.

But Hisoka knew. And he knew that, after the last conversation they had had on the phone, that smile could not mean anything good.

He didn’t know how long it took him to get to Aiko’s place; he could not spare a single second to watch the time. He just went to the building and up the four floors that leaded to the apartment he was renting for her and her babysitter.

It only took him a couple of steps to find Illumi and the baby, though. The girl was in her playpen, in the middle of the living room, and Illumi was on the couch next to it, feet resting on the wooden fence.

“Hey!” he greeted casually.

Hisoka tensed completely, but didn’t move.

Illumi was way too close. One false step and it was over.

“Ah, what is it? You’re not going to say hi?”

Hisoka examined the apartment. Except from one messy yogurt pot on the counter, everything was fairly normal. There was no trace of the babysitter ever being there. Then again, it was Illumi’s doing, so it was to be expected.

But she was not important; the only girl of importance there was inside the white wooden playpen, and Hisoka could not see her well.

He tilted his head as far as he could, trying to check on her without moving from his spot.

“She’s fine,” Illumi said. “Look…”

Very, very slowly and without breaking eye contact with Hisoka, Illumi raised his hands. Once they were up to his head’s height, he started getting up from the couch.

Hisoka copied his speed to get closer to the center of the room. His pulse drummed in his head, way too fast for their painfully slow pace. He knew Illumi. He knew that he had no reason to attack a baby, but he also knew that he was a sadist, and that the smile on his face was because he was enjoying the distress Hisoka was going through.

Ever so slowly, they circled the playpen until they had switched places. The sight of the baby kicking the air at the bottom of the pen allowed him to breathe once more.

“See?” Illumi said, still with an unnerving smug smile on his face. “She’s totally fine.”

He wanted to hold the girl, but still felt too on edge to lower his guard.

“Why are you here?”

Illumi tilted his head, faking innocence. “I just came to visit.”

“Where is the babysitter?”

Illumi shrugged. “Wasn’t anywhere when I got here.”

Hisoka let out a deep breath. “Why are you really here?”

There was a brief, small flash of white on his smile, but then, finally, Illumi relaxed his posture and, as final show of harmlessness, he closed his eyes.

“I came to visit,” he repeated. “You weren’t answering my calls, so it was the only thing I could do.”

Hisoka pursed his lips. Now that Illumi was calmer, he could hold the girl.

“I’m sorry,” he spat out begrudgingly once Aiko was well-covered by his arms, “but you weren’t being-,” he paused when he noticed Illumi’s eyes widening, in the not-good way, “- we weren’t being… communicating well.”

Illumi hummed.

Hisoka hated when he hummed.

He could rarely guess the words that would come out of his mouth every time he did that.

“I see. I’m sorry you couldn’t understand me.”

Hisoka tried not to grimace. Both had apologized but it was obvious none of them truly meant it. Illumi even went as far as to put the blame on him.

“Illumi… as much as I would love to chat and- _understand you_ , this is not the time and place.”

“I have no intentions to hurt Aiko,” Illumi said, totally understanding what he meant.

“I know, I know, but-,” Hisoka said, and got an idea.

He rocked the baby in his arms even though Aiko was absolutely unbothered by the events happening around her, and then put the most constipated face he could manage.

“You’re a man of family. You should be able to put yourself in my shoes.”

Illumi widened his eyes, in the not-alarming way, and lowered his hands.

He blinked a couple of times before responding.

“Alright. We can meet later tonight at the usual place. If you don’t remember how to get there, just call me. You have my number again now.”

Hisoka had to make a big effort to keep his face straight.

“I will. See you later.”

Illumi nodded back and walked away.

Once Illumi had finally closed the door behind him, Hisoka let out a deep huff and sank in his couch. He felt he had aged a whole year those past few minutes. The stress came back when he realized that now he was forced to meet Illumi and talk later that afternoon. There was no escape. It was annoying, but then again, it had been him who got the idea to become friends with Illumi in the first place…

He felt a cold sensation on his shoulder. The baby was drooling on him. Her face was sticky with strawberry yogurt.

 

 

 

The “usual place” was just the bar of the hotel where Illumi used to book whenever he was in town. He still had to get directions, but he managed to get there in time. Or almost. Hisoka checked his phone and he was twenty minutes late. How he managed to arrive late even when there was a life he actually cared about at risk was beyond him.

Illumi was already sitting, patiently waiting. Hisoka took the seat right by him. There were two glasses on the counter, one empty, other almost full, probably due to the ice in it melting. He figured Illumi had ordered one for him, refused to touch it until he arrived.

“Sorry, I got a little caught up,” he said, and when Illumi raised an incredulous brow at him he added, “Kind of happens when you have no babysitter, you know?”

Illumi looked to the side. “She wasn’t really doing a proper job when I got there anyway.”

“Ah! A confession!”

“I haven’t confessed anything,” Illumi said and tried taking a sip of his drink, but there was only ice left.

Hisoka signaled a waiter to bring a refill and a non-half-water drink.

Illumi had more whiskey but Hisoka ordered the densest cocktail the place could offer. He would need the unwise mix of sugar and alcohol to stand the interrogation he was about to have with his friend, and he would need plenty of it.

Illumi couldn’t be there to have an actual conversation. From their last phone argument, it was clear that he was not letting go, not until Hisoka said what he wanted to hear.

He wanted Hisoka to kneel and crawl and even though he did not want to do that… maybe it was for the best to act it.

The assassin had no professional reasons to kill Aiko, but he could be quite unprofessional at times. It was one of the things that had pulled Hisoka to him once, when they were first getting to know each other; now, it just seemed horribly annoying.

“So… Here I am,” Hisoka prompted.

Illumi wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was playing with the giant ice ball in his drink, tilting the glass and making it clink.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this…” He eventually said. “But I still can’t understand your reasons.”

“My reasons for what?”

Illumi lifted his gaze and looked at him straight in the eye.

“For everything you did.”

Hisoka turned to his glass, uncomfortable with the strange look Illumi was giving him. There was still anger in it, definitely, but it was subdued by something else he couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

“I guess… I do owe you an explanation.”

Illumi straightened a bit, as if preparing himself for what Hisoka was going to say.

It would not be the truth, of course. His current reality was not something Hisoka really wanted to think about, so surely no one could blame him for adorning it a little bit.

“Aiko’s mother was,” he started, “a professional dancer.”

Illumi’s shoulders eased a bit, and Hisoka knew he had his complete attention.

“We were together for a short while. It was nothing serious, but as soon as I knew about the girl, I started helping her; monetarily, at least.”

Illumi remained attentive, with no signs of doubting the story.

“However… Well, sadly, she passed away. Due to the damage the baby did to the mother’s career, no one in her family would take her in… So I had to step forward.”

Illumi turned to his glass, brows slightly pulling together. There had to be something bothering him now, so Hisoka had to continue talking to distract him from that.

“I tried to take care of her but, as you may imagine, it was impossible for me alone. It was then that I asked for your help-”

“And you lied to me,” Illumi interrupted.

“…Hmm?” Hisoka calmly hummed, as he could never be sure in which lie he had been caught.

“I asked you if she was your child and you denied it. If you had told me-”

“What?” Hisoka interrupted now. “What would have happened? Would you have helped me? Or would you have used this information against me?”

Even though he could maintain his smile, he couldn’t help let his last words drip acid.

Still, Illumi didn’t seem affected by it. He stared at Hisoka impassively, and once it was clear he was done asking, he spoke.

“…Was that why you decided to steal her back? Because you didn’t trust me?”

Hisoka froze at how strange Illumi’s voice came out. He had never heard it that way before, soft, but not in the way he used to put ideas in people’s heads, but as if he was almost unsure how to speak.

“I would have helped you,” Illumi continued, still low but without hesitation. “We’re allies. I have no reason to act against you.”

That was bullshit. That was complete bullshit because Illumi was no better than Hisoka. They were both cut by the same scissors, so he was no one to say righteous things like that.

But Illumi sounded like he really meant it.

And his eyes looked like he really meant it.

“I’m on your side, Hisoka,” Illumi added, voice lower, as if he shouldn’t be saying those things. “You don’t need to lie to me.”

Hisoka managed to turn away from his gaze, uncomfortable, as if he shouldn’t be hearing those things, or as if he couldn’t accept them, either.

He put his elbows on the counter and rested his face between his hands, or hid it, he wasn’t really sure.

“I’m sorry,” he said, simply because it poured out of him; because he didn’t know what else to say.

The background music and chatter of the bar filled the space between them.

Illumi didn’t answer, didn’t even hum, so Hisoka was forced to move his fingers so he could side-eye Illumi and check his reaction.

He didn’t look angry. He didn’t look anything.

But at least he didn’t look pissed, which was the most important.         

Hisoka lowered his hands and asked tentatively, “…So, are we alright now?”

Illumi crossed his arms as he deliberated.

Deep down, there had to be some anger left. Hisoka knew it. There was no way Illumi would ever forgive a grudge that easily.

Still, the very fact that he was considering it meant that he was most likely geared that way.

“It’s fine,” he finally huffed, his voice so faint it almost fused with the background noise.

Hisoka smiled and rose the remaining of his drink towards him.

“Then, let’s make a toast, for new beginnings.”

Illumi considered him for a moment.

“You’re so corny,” he said, yet also rose his glass.

Hisoka just smiled wider and clanked the glasses together.

It was only after Illumi had ordered a refill for him that Hisoka remembered something very important.

“I have to leave,” he said as abruptly as he had remembered.

Illumi stared at him for a second, “do you really?”

“Aiko,” Hisoka said, and got on his feet.

“What about her?”

“…You killed my babysitter?”

Of course, instead of looking guilty, Illumi just looked upset.

“And you didn’t get another?”

Hisoka’s jaw dropped at the fact that, in Illumi’s world, finding a trustworthy babysitter to stay the night was, apparently, something pretty simple.

Still, he did not want to end the encounter with another argument, so he just took a deep breath.

“Haven’t found another yet.”

Illumi huffed and looked away, his lower lip stuck slightly out and down in discontent.

And that, in Hisoka’s book, was as close to a pout as Illumi could get.

The thought that Illumi was so frustrated at his depart that it showed was enough for Hisoka to forget all of his own frustration.

The thought that Illumi may had expected more than just an apology from their meeting made him giddy, faster and more effectively than any sugary concoction in that bar would ever manage.

“I will see how I can fix that situation, then,” Illumi said solemnly, still obviously unhappy.

Hisoka grinned, and before he knew it he was leaning towards him.

When he kissed him, Illumi didn’t push him back.

In fact, he welcomed his lips immediately, almost followed him forward when Hisoka pulled back.

“Goodbye, Illumi,” Hisoka said softly.

 

He turned on his heel and didn’t look back, chuckling all the way out of the building.


End file.
